Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[CherryBomb]

We have about 15 more minutes, so now is the time to put in your final thoughts or questions (time permitting sensitive ones please ).

[Jacques]

Thank you so much @BlueButterfly50 & @CherryBomb, you have answered so many questions for me, i will do a lot of research now, i have never been diagnosed, but from what you have explained to me, you have helped me understand my mind more, and understand my condition.

Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me and others on the forum, i for one am so greatful for your time

Jacques

[BlueButterfly50]

What was involved was getting my life together with the right job that I loved (mental health), doing yoga, bike riding, walking, getting involved in my own life. She said she would never abandon me and she never did. I had to trust her with my life and we worked on merging, attachment and she promised me she would be there in text and email until I could separate. I did it gradually over time, years. I had to trust myself to be alone in my thoughts. I had to learn her life was not perfect and that she was not the golden parent who would make my life perfect. I did mature, my brain developed through neuroplasticity. I had enough good enough experiences with her to hold her in my heart, where she will always be even if I never see her again. I had to have compassion for me.

[CherryBomb]

You're most welcome @Jacques, glad you gained some insights into your self tonight.  - thanks for popping by.

[Kate70]

Thanks @BlueButterfly50 Very useful links & tops for carers.I'll definitely be following up the latest research too.Much appreciated Thanks!

[BlueButterfly50]

I also studied psychology like crazy. I spent all my spare time researching BPD, attachment and abandonment issues till I got an intellectual understanding of psychodynamic concepts. I gained knowledge which was power and then reflected on this and intertwined this with my life history..

[FMC]

You are not alone. This sounds like our family too. I keep hoping that the next therapist will be the one my daughter will connect with. Hope keeps us going.

[BlueButterfly50]

I'm sorry to hear that, people can be quite ignorant of how this feels for us.

[BlueButterfly50]

Find another therapist, some of them bulk bill. Don't base your experience on just one. Phone them and have a chat about what they charge. Some give a discount. Mine does.

[CherryBomb]

One more question @BlueButterfly50 (from me). Any suggestions about how to find an ideal therapist or supports for both carers and people with lived experience?