Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Jacques]

Hi Their,

reading the posts tonight, i do meet a lot of the criteria for BPD, how would i go about getting diagnosed properly, and can you have BPD along with other MI, as i suffer agoraphobia, OCD, etc?

Jacques

[BlueButterfly50]

New research is saying that diagnosis at an early age (13) is good because then you can do something about it before it gets to the critical stage. i was at a conference in Washington DC last year and one of the researchers there who is an expert in BPD and adolescence gave a talk on this. The debate on nature -v- nurture is complex, there thought to be interaction from both. Opinion is highly divided on the percentage of each. Parents are not to blame for BPD. Parents most of the time are doing the best they can. No-one sets out to destroy their kids lives deliberately. It is hard being a parent. I have three adult children who have had their share of mental health issues. All good now, touch wood, but as a parent I got it wrong a lot of the time. It's not about parents its about trauma. My trauma came from school bullying and other things that were not parentally related. Other trauma is from other family members, or outside incidents are are one off, or of a long term nature.

[Carolyn]

Yes, it's my understanding also that some doctors are hesitant to diagnose before the age 18 due to development. Also some doctors don't diagnose BPD due stigma and also some doctors diagnose Post Traumatic Stress Disorder rather than BPD. 

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

Dang it!
I've missed this convo, and I really wanted to join in. :'(

[BlueButterfly50]

Yes, it is possible to recover. She wants to end the pain, not her life. I was suicidal for many years, that was my way of coping. I finally learned how to regulate my emotions, learn to say no and speak up for myself, move on from all the stuff that happened and start to love myself. Self loathing and self hatred are a huge part of wanting to die. When you hate yourself you have no quality of life. I also work with people who are chronically suicidal who now have made changes in their lives and are starting to create different coping skills. Does she have a trusted therapist?

[BlueButterfly50]

You can, it is going for another hour

[CherryBomb]

Great to hear about the latest research @BlueButterfly50. I hope it filters down into people that are delivering treatment.

@Crazy_Bug_Lady - we got another hour - yay!

@BlueButterfly50We got a few questions about comorbidity - is it possible to provide a general statement about how BPD can coexist with other disorders? And how do people get diagnosed with BPD?

[BlueButterfly50]

Doctors and other MH staff seem to not keep up with current research. In the USA at McLean Hospital in Belmont Massachusetts they have an adolescent hospital which is where all the latest research comes from. A lot of mental health staff have outdated information and education. Getting to someone when they are young and treating them at that point bodes well for the future. Getting an adolescent to engage with services is another matter though.

[Kate70]

@BlueButterfly50 Any tips for carers to help someone with BPD restore self-esteem in a long term sense? Is reminding them they are loved & wanted enough? Showing them through small everyday gestures? Or does this just not help:get through?

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

Sorry, I don't know if it's already been asked...

When I told a friend I had been diagnosed with BPD, she said that explained why I was so moody.

So, my question I guess is... Does BPD mean I'm moody??

I don't really think of myself as moody... I know that I'll have my ups and downs, but I see it far more as I react differently (stronger?) than others...