11-09-2019 11:55 AM
Sorry if this doesn't make sense but I am mentally not good right now.
Also trigger warning it will probably be needed but at this point not sure where as I am venting.
Everyone says I can trust them and I should be able to tell them any thing but the issue is I trust no one. I'd trust my 7 year old son before anyone else on this planet but the issue is he is still a child and I already had my childhood stolen I will never let him suffer what I did.
I am so over everyone always at me because I don't talk to them and let them know if I need help but I have always had to protect myself and it will always be hard to let people in
Right now my mother has decided that she cares and wants to know what we went through as children I never knew that three of my siblings had been abused like I had. I always thought I had protected them from that. I know I was just a child but I feel like I failed them so bad.
What do I do? I don't know how to help them I barely get myself through each day my mum since she found out has been constantly telling us to go to the police but I've never even told a counsellor about all of my abuse and to be honest police scare me I hate talking to them.
I know it sounds bad but I wish I would go back to when she didn't care it was easier
11-09-2019 12:09 PM
Hi @BabyDragon ,
Your post made sense.
This is just my opinion and its up to you what to do. Basing this on other posts I have seen you make and not just this one. I think you did your best to protect your siblings as best you could. I wouldn't feel bad that you may not have, you did what you could and you can't change it now.
I wouldn't talk to your mother about it as she seems to be inconsiderate to you and probably your slblings as well.
I would talk to your siblings, psychiatrist, friends before her.
I think you are very brave and strong to get through everything like you have. Trust yourself and your son would be my advice.
It's hard to trust anyone at the best of times and I can only imagine how diffucult it would be for you to do it.
12-09-2019 06:17 AM
@BabyDragon I really understand where you are coming from, and you make perfect sense.
I have huge trust issues due to childhood abuse, just like you. I also did my best to help my siblings through.
You have done your best, no one can do more than that. Personally I would never trust my mother, but you might have different issues. Self protection is wise, in my opinion. As for who do you trust, it takes time and mutual respect I think.
I might not be making much sense, but just letting you know you are not alone.
13-09-2019 11:56 AM
Why does she have to care now why does anyone have to care now it was better for me when they didn't. It was less stressful when no one cared
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