Lived Experience Forum

[Change123]

@BlueBay

I'm sorry for what you are going through now.

I dont what to tell you as you need to decide what is best for you but if you think the break will give you some breathing space then do it, as for your hubby and kids well I'm just learning in regards to my partner - they just dont get it and to be honest I'm starting to think that unless you have a MI you dont understand, this has been proven to me time and time again by the comments by my partner. I know all we want is the simple things like you said, take care of tea I get the same if I'm sick whether its MI or physical.  They probably go hand in hand, if your sick physcially like you said it could be your body is telling you that you have had enough mentally.

Do what feels right for you, if you want a break to recharge do it but like you said be prepared that things with your hubby and kids wont change.  I dont know what will help with family, my partner still doesnt get it but that could be due to his unmedicated bipolar but then again from what I have heard others talk about including professionals (doctors etc) they dont get it either.  Have you tried family counselling - would he and the kids be open to that? Is it worth the doctors talking to him?

I hope you are ok - so I'm gathering no blood cot?

[Change123]

Question is this @Sadgirl but changed user? getting a bit confused.

[Kurra]

Hi @Change123
Sadgirl has changed her user name to @BlueBay.
Enjoy the more peaceful environment at work whilst you can. Hugzzz 🎶

[Change123]

Thanks @Kurra

@BlueBay

I hope you are ok, you are in my thoughts!

[BlueBay]

Yes @Change123
It's me sadgirl but now BlueBay 😊
Decided it was time to change my name and photo.

[BlueBay]

@Decadian I need your advice
Shld I go to hospital or not?
If I go I get rest from home work and family
But I would lose pay so that means mr huff n puff will be huffing even more!!!
What do I do?
Nothing will change will it?
What would you do?

[Former-Member]

Hi @BlueBay

I'm here if you need to chat @BlueBay . I love the name change by the way, it was one of my favorite beaches growing up on the Central Coast.

I can understand why its a difficult decision for you to make weather to go into hospital or not. I would consider and ponder over, what you would hope to achieve by going into hospital and weather or not you could do something similar at home. I would have a discussion with SO and express to him what you need at the moment and also how you would like the household to be managed in the future too. As some of the changes you may want long term and you may not adjustments as your needs change too. You may want some extra help around the house and taking turns cooking meals etc. I'm not sure if that would help and could see if that helps and you could potentially postpone going into hospital until you are in a better financial position and by that time you may not what to go into hospital.

In 2014/2015, I went to a private clinic in Sydney and truly did help me and the help and support in their as help turn my life around. I've not been into hospital since June 2015 but I would consider going back in if I felt I could get some benefit from it. I would also consider going to a clinic in Nth Qld too, as it runs an physical activity program. I think what help me the most in Sydney was the respite from day to day pressure, not having access to technology, structure, positive support and the help of other patients/clients.

Just remember I'm here if u need to chat some more or if you want to ask me any questions.

[BlueBay]

Hi @Former-Member
I'm off to bed but I will re read your post and reply in the morning. 😊 Hope you sleep well. Xx

[Former-Member]

Hi @BlueBay. I think it would be good to work out what you want to achieve if you go to hospital. If you need a break to breathe again then go. What if you see if you can do an admission on the night you finish your work week and just spend 5 nights then you won't lose much pay and you get a break. Maybe you can use that time to work out some goals you want to achieve with your new psychologist or a specific plan about how you would like to be treated at home when you've been in crisis for a while. I'm about to go through this process with my kids. How they can specifically help and not make things worse when I'm not coping. These are just some ideas so you would feel like hospital had some direction or reason. Of course just needing to breathe again and have respite is a valid reason too, one which I've used and needed a lot. Maybe you feel that you will be even more stressed out after hospital from the financial loss which would have meant that you are not relaxed when you come home and reality sets in. these are just my thoughts. I know I'm not helping you decide but only you can know how going or not going will affect you. Maybe do a pros and cons list. Did you do one in DBT?  They did one that was a weighted one for us so that you put a value on each point. Wishing you the best for your decision. Take care 💜🤗

[BlueBay]

Hi @Former-Member

Thanks for offering to chat last night, but by the time I read your post I was already in bed.  

I know I am the one that has to make that decision about hospital.  Its just that at times becaue i feel so alone and no one to talk to at home, I feel i can talk on here and get others to support me.

I think what i need is more communication with hubby. And that is hard. He comes from a single child family.  His parents were much older when they had him.  His dad had no time for him at all, always down the pub and never home.  His mum tried her best bus she was a strange person in her own way. Caring but strange. And it was probably becasue she wasn't treated right by her husband.  So my husband has no siblings, cousins or any other relatives.  He ended up going to his mates house almost every single night for dinenr with them.  He was always there.  In fact when I first met him he was at his mates house (who actually lived 6 houses down from me!!!)

So i think my hubby doesn't know about siblings; doesn't know about sharing with others, empathy.  His dad passed away at the age of 68 and his mum lived with us for 20 yrs is now in aged care with dementia. So i get it, it would  have been hard for him.  He never had a close relationship with either of his parents and as for sitting down and having a chat, no he doesn't know how to do that.

Boy, I have changed the topic so much here!!!

Anyway, I am seeing my psych this afternoon, we will talk about hospital.  See what happens.  I will let you know how I go.