Our stories
I hope there are financial penalties @Faith-and-Hope I don't know much about Family Law, but do have some lawyers in my family.....judges get really cross with people playing the system and holding back the flow of genuine cases. If he does no shows, doesn't reply and withholds information he may be slapped with a bill at the end of the financial settlement for that behaviour.
If he plans on a prenup with the women he's run over seas with I am not sure how water tight they are anymore, depends on the precedents that have come before, but that is not your problem. It always shocks me how fast people move into together. I think pooling funds is one of the main attractions for a lot of people who have never experienced financial abuse, it never crosses their mind how unforgiving our society is, you can literally wake up with nothing if just a couple of things go wrong in your life, and you cross paths with a suburban sociopath.
Hopefully by 2022 sometime you can treat yourself to a little get away with the cubs or some friends and breath in the relief of not owing him a single thing,
Corny 
I've never experienced NPD from a romantic relationship @Faith-and-Hope only from a parent. I think it means that you can be kinder to yourself.....we are wired to love and be attracted, abusive people take advantage of our biology. You had no reason not to believe him.
Moving in together early - you were young, and excited.
It's horrible that he started putting you down, those words can never be taken back.
With the ED I guess if you have one mental illness you are susceptible to others. People with NPD have a tough time with aging and they are self deluded when it comes to the state of their body - look a Trump's orange skin/spray tan. Their vanity is way above average, they look down their noses at anyone that doesn't have model good looks, which is the majority of us, and always manage to find a partner that tells them how good looking they are. I say they need to buy a new mirror!
This new women would be inflating his ego and pressing all the right buttons, telling him how great he looks......its very painful for you @Faith-and-Hope and its natural to want the universe to give him his just desserts but that probably won't happen. My clin-psych thinks the people who stay in relationships with a person with NPD have similar traits or on the personality disorder spectrum themselves. I can see traits in my mother that point a personality disorder.
Who knows how deranged and abusive he could have become in old age if you'd stayed together. I know it hurts like hell that he cheated on you and left, but sometimes when someone breaks our heart they have done us a favour. Who's to say it wouldn't have escalated more and more. It most certainly did for my father, people walk away from the sort of aggression and lies, including health professionals. That used to really hurt me when I was little, I felt so abandoned, but I understand now that I am older that he was untreatable and everyone deserves to keep themselves safe, even nurses and doctors, they don't have to put up with his threats and tantrums. There was nothing more libidinal than seeking attention in a hospital and have people fuss over him while he told them about life traumas that were all false! It makes me sick just thinking about it.
I just really hope that it isn't a protracted financial settlement and come 2022 there's some finalisation.
Corny 
You're not stupid @Faith-and-Hope .
Sounds like he's made a real dogs breakfast of all of his relationships, but that in itself is a sign of NPD, volatile relationships and difficulty maintaining them on every level, with family, children, colleagues, friends.
The betrayal is only a blessing because of how you decided to deal with it, and were determined to keep your dignity and self respect. Lots of people would have stayed, and made up lame excuses to hide their lack of conviction. He would despise you all the more for having the courage to leave, because underneath he is such a weak person and cannot survive on his own, without a punching bag.
I am glad that you were able to access a counsellor that took his behaviours and treatment of you seriously.
If he is in a relationship with a cruel and nasty person, they deserve each other.
She can change his nappies when he is incontinent and infirm, not your problem!
Corny
