Need to vent pls

[Eve7]

Hi @BlueBay and thanks for the tag. Sorry about the power outage…such a pain for you all day.;

Its been wet and miserable here but at least the rain has watered my garden for me. I have a quiet weekend ahead…how’s your weekend looking?

[tyme]

Hey @BlueBay , great to see you! Sorry to hear you didn't have any power. It must've been cold!

There was sunshine in my area. Any sunshine where you are?

Baby blanket? For anyone?

[BlueBay]

hey @Eve7 @tyme my daughter has been trying for 2 years to fall pregnant.

but unfortunately nothing yet.  she is having a procedure done in two weeks and i am hoping that will help her fall pregnant.  Although little A doesn't want a baby; she said she wants mummy all to herself!!! how funny.  i think she is coming round to the thought of one day being a big sister.

i pray all the time that they can have a baby together.  her fiance has two girls but one together would be beautiful. 

so the blanket is for her; i have been doing a few different colours and keeping them and not telling her.

it was sunny today which was good, otherwise i would have been very cold.  

but the power is back on now, i have just had a shower and washed my hair.

hope your day was good. xxx

[Eve7]

I had breakfast with my son @BlueBay and then I went for a long walk in the light rain.

I did a bit of knitting today for Miss 8’s footy scarf. I think it will be finished before season’s end lol

[tyme]

Awww @BlueBay . Fingers crossed all goes well. 

@Eve7 , sounds like a pleasant day.

[tyme]

That is very early! How are you managing @BlueBay ? What's on the agenda today?

[BlueBay]

hi @tyme 

i tend to be up in the morning by 5.30am but i go to bed by 8.30pm.

today is a horrible windy very cold day 11 deg but feels like 3

this morning i went to have coffee with a few old work colleagues.  we tend to catch up every 3 months.  but i really didn't want to go because it's always one lady who does most of the talking and i just sit there.  only one lady asked how i am and how the kids are.  no one else.  i feel like not going anymore. i don't like when one person takes over the conversation all the time.

i left and felt angry, sayign to myself i am not going again.  i think i prefer one on one catch ups with the ladies that talk to me.  

my daughter has messaged before and we are going over for dinner and then a game night with her and her fiance.  i don't like late nights so hoping to eat dinner early and come home not too late.

can't wait to get my hugs from little A.  our son in law has 2 girls (8,6) but they are not into hugs; lets hope they all behave tonight!! there's always one that starts

oh also got a msg before from a friend who wants to catch up with hubby and i tomorrow morning for coffee.  so we will go to see them and then i don't know what we will do.  i find when hubby is home i tend to be busy but then come the weekdays and i struggle with my negative thoughts.

Can i ask you something @tyme ?

i am seeing a new psychologist in 3 weeks.  I am looking forward to seeing this new lady.  She is a clinical psychologist and does EMDR, trauma as well as eating disorders - all what i need.

Trouble is - i haven't told my current psychologist.  I dont' know how to tell her.  i fear so much that she will be angry with me; she will hate me; i don't know what to say.  i have been seeing her for 2 years but i feel nothing has been achieved.  my psych has been asking her to try EMDR and she brushes it off saying 'oh you don't need it'. she told me i had ADHD to when i told my psych was very angry at her for saying that.  she is not qualified.  she then told me last year that i didn't have BPD.  Again my psychiatrist was angry and rang her.  a few times i felt i was caught in the middle of my pyschologist telling me one thing so different to what my psychiatrist was telling me.  But i believe my psych as she is more qualified and can diagnose.  My psychologist is only a counsellor.

how do i tell her without feeling terrible; i am a people pleaser and struggle greatly with letting people down.

hoping you can give me some tips xx

[tyme]

Ooo @BlueBay ! Little A hugs sounds incredible! Reminds me of my 4 yr old niece. She doesn't let me go until she's given me a kiss and held my ear lobes lol. She loves ear lobes! Your relationships is amazing. I still remember her asking if you had money after you bought her something. How sweet and thoughtful of her.

Now in terms of your psych/counsellor... Firstly, psychologists and counsellors are quite different. Their role and qualifications are different and maybe that's why you've been receiving the responses you have been from the counsellor.

I was just sharing with someone else that there was a time in my life that I was seeing 2 psychs. This was over a long period - maybe 2 years? I never disclosed to the other that I was seeing someone else. 

Each time I attended an appointment, we worked on different things with the 2 psychs. One was more about current crises and issues while the other was more long term therapeutic work. Each therapist had their own strengths and skills so I would hone in on that.

Then, during different times in my life, I'd see one more than the other, depending on my need. 

So for you, maybe you can slowly taper off your sessions with the counsellor if they are not helping. You don't necessarily have to tell them you are seeing a psych. Or you may want to hold onto the counsellor until you see if the psych is a good fit or not. 

If you see both, you can work with each on things that align with their strengths. But if you want to drop one, then you don't have to tell them you are seeing anyone else unless you want to e.g. "I'll let you know when I need my next appointment" - and you may never need that appointment with them again.

What do you think?

[BlueBay]

hey @tyme 

i am going to see this new clinical psychologist to see how she is; i will ask her questions to see if she can help me eg. EMDR etc

i want to suss her out to see if i like her; she is in the same clinic as my GP and i know my dr supports this move. and i have a feeling my psychiatrist will like this change as well. 

i think for now i will go and see how she is and then decide what to do.  the problem is with my current counsellor is that she makes appts before i leave the session.  

if i did decide to stop altogether is it 'bad' to email her and say i don't want to come back and give her reason or do i need to tell her in person?

[tyme]

But remember, she can't make an appointment unless you agree to it. When when counsellors have asked me for an appointment, I always say, "I'll let you know". @BlueBay 

But of course, if you want to tell her straight, that's also okay. e.g. "I don't feel I've made as much progress as I'd like so I want to give our sessions a bit of a pause. I'll get back in touch if I feel I need it". Something like that?