Need to vent pls

[tyme]

That's nice. I'm sure Little A loves you so much! Nonna's spag and lasagne! @BlueBay 

As for the therapeutic work, that's what worked for me. The fact that you are cooking and your mind takes you back to those thoughts, sorta tells me that these thoughts are quite 'ingrained'. I'm not sure what other word to use. And I think targeted therapy will be able working with these thoughts.

Take your time though. I'm mindful there's a lot going on for you and you need to be ready.

Hugs @BlueBay . 

Thank you for sharing with us and trusting us to be part of your life.

[rav3n]

hey @BlueBay how are you holding up this morning?

[BlueBay]

Hi @rav3n 

I’m not bad. I went to see my dr again this morning. I’m feeling like I’ve let so many people down. My dr said it’s ok if I didn’t go to the gym at least I saw little A. He said I’m really hard on myself. 
im seeing him again next Tuesday. 

[rav3n]

i know that feeling @BlueBay it's not easy to let go of it. practicing self-compassion can be hard, especially when we're not used to it, but it is important. you deserve kindness. i hope you're able to be gentle with yourself 💗

how was your time with little A?

[BlueBay]

hi @rav3n 

i was thinking today - when i walked into my drs this morning i received a nice compliment from the nurse.  she said 'gee youre looking so good, you have changed from seeing you 2 yrs ago".  she kept giving me all these compliments.  do you know what i did? - i quickly brushed it off and said i can't see it or feel it.

i struggle a lot with receiving compliments.  BUT i can give compliments with no problem.  i actually enjoy giving compliments.

my dr heard the compliment and when i walked in he mentioned that it was nice for the nurse to say that to me.  i said yes i do accept her compliment and it was nice of her BUT i can't sit with this because it doens't feel right.  

and i think i dont' deserve the compliment.  i know it sounds weird.

[BlueBay]

Hi @rav3n 

my time with little A is always beautiful 

she’s so smart with so much empathy for others 

she’s very strong willed but also kind 

I bought her a bookmark and a pencil and she was concerned because “what if nonna you don’t have enough money”. 
she’s such a sweetheart. 
she is my life. She keeps me going. 

[tyme]

Awww Little A, what a sweetheart! How amazing! @BlueBay 

Good to hear from you my dear @BlueBay .

Here for you hun. 

[BlueBay]

Good morning @tyme  up very early at4.55am. 
sitting here with heater on having my first coffee. 

I’ve got washing machine on as our power goes off at 8am-5pm. Works in our street. 

going for a short walk this morning with my friend and then coffee. it’s going to be sunny and 15 deg today!! 

oh no I just thought - no tv today!!!

what am I going to do. I’ll crochet a bit.  

Hi @rav3n 

[rav3n]

aww just read about little A! she's so sweet. @BlueBay 

looks like you had a really early start this morning! hope the walk and coffee with your friend went well. i'm due for a coffee too... might make myself a cuppa now!

what are you crocheting at the moment?

[BlueBay]

sorry @rav3n for late reply, we had no power ALL day.

waiting now for water to heat up so i can have a shower.  

Im crocheting a baby blanket to keep 

it was a very quiet day, annoying actually, couldn't do anything.

didn't want to crochet; reading is hard atm; i went to bed for a snooze and then sat outside in the sun for a little bit which was nice.

i did manage to cook dinner - bolognaise sauce for pasta.

hi @tyme @Shaz51 @Eve7 and others i have forgotten xxxxx