Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shaz51]

I agree @waves

[Kisia]

@Shaz51 ... wait you meant where to look for help!!! Ooooh sorry, my mistake! It all depends on what state or terittory you are in but if you like you can call us at HelpingMinds tomorrow and speak with one of our Carer Peer Workers. Explain that you are from another state but not sure whats available and we can help. Our number is (08) 9427 7100 but remember we are 2 hours behind you so wont be open until 10:30am your time. Our website is www.helpingminds.org.au

[Shaz51]

thanks @Kisia

love to hear more , and some tips too

[Kisia]

I guess for me the idea of family recovery came down to family healing. Who ever you consider to be family. That might be the larger community or even only some or none of your biological "family". The ideal would to not have something to need healing from which means preventative action. And oftent to heal you need to look at the social factors. To heal is hard/almost impossible if you are homeless, or can't afford to eat due to poverty etc. 

Part of that healing also becomes reclaiming your life, reclaiming your connections to others so no longer being only a "carer", or no-longer having all interactions be about the illness, but be a partner, parent, grandparent, child, friend, and have interactions with them that are positive and have nothing to do with the illness but just shared enjoyment.

[Kisia]

@Shaz51Of course. Remember you can always call our office and chat personally with one of our Carer Peer Workers - I am in a new program now but the ladies that are currently Carer Peer Workers are amazing and if you ask to speak with the old COPMI officer Im sure you will still be put through to me.

As for the tips there are plenty. What each person finds useful is different to everyone. Do you have a specific area you are of your life you are thinking about?

What tips do other people have on the forum for reclaiming your life, recovering from hurt, etc?

[Lisa_M]

Hi everyone,

I apologise for coming in late this evening, I've read a bit of the discussion, but not all. It seems to me that other 'carers/fam members' truly do have a struggle going on & I note the mention of stigma and tackling the same has been spoken about as well.

I actually am in the situation whereby I have a mental illness and am in relapse, and also my daughter (23yrs) has relapsed during my most recent stint in hospital.

I am struggling to figure out how to be supportive to her when I myself am still very unwell. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to approach being her 'rock' as has been the case in the past & her desire to be 'adulty' now that she's spreading her wings (she's moved out) and not really open to any suggestion I make.

I note I will still adhere to my motto of 'just love her', but I feel helpless to assist her in anyway aside from cuddles & letting her know I'm here for her. She hasn't seen a psychiatrist or psychologist at this stage, but her GP has put her on anti-psychotics & anti-depressants, which has increased her weight tremendously, which is bringing her mood down further.

thanks in anticipation, Lisa M

[Shaz51]

yes I see @Kisia

my mind is going over what you said and reclaiming your life, reclaiming your connections to others so no longer being only a "carer", or no-longer having all interactions be about the illness

[Shaz51]

Hello @Lisa_M 

My husband has cancelled psychiatrist and the  psychologist help

[Kisia]

Hi @Lisa_M Thanks for joining the conversation. I dont know about everyone else but despite being a carer I too have had my own mental illnesses. In fact 60% of carers develop their won mental illness.

But as for your situation its hard as you are her mum - not her doctor. Either way tho I always say if you have an ongoing problem with your back you go to a back specialist so if you have an ongoing issue with your mood/mental health you do to a mental health specialist. GP's are ok for a week or two but anything past that needs psychiatrist involvement they know more, can perscribe better medications and ideally will refer her to a psychologist or other talk therapies which is where the real healing and growing occurs. As my old psychiatrist would say "my goal is to help you get so well that you dont need medications, and that is done by therapy".

[Kisia]

@LLisa_M as for what you can do just love her is a big one. Learn about her particular struggles (ie if its Depression learn about that), go to a carer support group to get tips off others), do the recovering our families course or other training, and model how to become well. I refuse to be a hypocrite so I never suggest my mum see a counselor unless I have seen one too. Also Mathew Mitcham (the Ozy Diving Olympian) has an awesome autobiography out and in that him and his mum actually are recovery buddies and overcome their mental health and drug and alcohol issues together as a team. Might have some ideas in that for you and your daughter?