Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Snoo]

Hi Everyone

I'd like to also suggest that asking friends or family for support can be helpful. Sometimes it doesn't even have to be much, a simple telephone call, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or catching up for coffee can be helpful too. I find that reaching out for support for both myself and the person I care for can be really helpful. I'm always suprised by how much people help out too.

[Cazzie]

Switching off is the hard part.  My advice is to find a hobby that you can lose yourself in. If reading is your thing get your book and drive to a park for half an hour or so;  take a coffee or a cold drink and a snack with you.

i have a purpose built sewing studio and my husband doesn't enter it without permission. I can walk in, close the door and the curtain and he leaves me be. It sometimes takes quite a while to switch off. Other times i switch off as soon as i pick up a ruler or rotary cutter.

I won't try and kid you that it's easy. It's not. But like anything worth learning it gets easier with practice. 

[3forme]

For carers living in Victoria, the MIND carer helpline (1300 550 265) can help you find respite services in your area.

I have also found Carers Vic to be helpful in providing carer activities (movies, massages etc).

Hope this helps!

[CherryBomb]

Wow, some great advice on respite. Thanks @Cazzie @3forme  @BeHappy and @Snoo 

There's been some discusson on knowing when and how to take a break.  @3forme  spoke about forming a 'sense' of how her daughter is. This got me wondering what  people's 'senses' are of themselves in knowing when they need a break - in other words, when do you know you need respite?

For me, it can sneak up on me, and I can suddenly find myself saying, 'gees, I need a break'. Usually, this is accompanied with feeling tired, and irritable, and indecisive. What about you?

[tulip]

me too. i can be doing very well and then something happens to make me want to leave my husband altogether. e.g.  all was ok until i dislocated my knee on thursday night 8th january

[tulip]

i really hate the feeling indecisive bit the most.

[tulip]

i am determined to try and get to see a movie or 2 in the next couple of weeks even on my crutches.

[Snoo]

Hi @tulip 

That sounds painful. Sorry to hear about your accident.

I find the need for respite also sneaks up on me. I also find that I start to second guess my decisions and actions, like I'm not sure if I actually need a break or if I'm being unreasonable. At this point, it's usually when I need respite the most.

[Cazzie]

A sure fire indicator that you need respite is temper. If you're about to lose your temper get out. Go anywhere. Five minutes or five hours. The time is irrelevant. What's important is that you don't lose your grip. 

There are many other indicators and they will vary from person to person. The trick is to recognise one at a time. Don't try and work them all out at once. It'll do your head in. I speak from experience. 

[Snoo]

Ah yes, the temper is something that I can most definitely relate too @Cazzie 

For me it is a clear indicator that I need a break.