Something’s not right
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‎23-08-2017 08:35 PM
‎23-08-2017 08:35 PM
where is my mind
no memories childhood amnesia abuse cellar dark rooms death drugs golden shot bullies waste land ruins war death corpses well shrapnel glass nature poison mines destruction river floods homeless refugees closed borders pain sand bags guns soldiers child grandchild lost numb death discrimination loss
CONFUSION
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‎23-08-2017 08:50 PM
‎23-08-2017 08:50 PM
Re: where is my mind
@Former-Member
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‎24-08-2017 09:34 AM
‎24-08-2017 09:34 AM
Re: where is my mind
Hello @Former-Member
You have written lots of horrible things there, it seems like you are quite overwhelmed with those traumatic things, which sounds incredibly tough. What are you doing with your day today? Hope you are lookign after yourself
Lunar
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‎24-08-2017 01:10 PM
‎24-08-2017 01:10 PM
Re: where is my mind
Confusing myself? I'm really good at that.
I was wondering yesterday why there is a World Suicide Day, I missed the Prevention bit. Don't worry, I'm safe, just over it.
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‎24-08-2017 01:25 PM
‎24-08-2017 01:25 PM
Re: where is my mind
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‎24-08-2017 07:59 PM
‎24-08-2017 07:59 PM
Re: where is my mind
What happened to me? Why can I get so confused? I feel like something takes over my brain and I don't know how to stop. It's like I'm trying to swim and I just hopelessly splash around and then when I feel better, I think what he f* have I done now!? Why can't I just swim in the lane, but doggy paddle in all different directions and mainly in a circle? I get so impulsive and irrational, i just don't know who I am. I'm not talking SH just general actions and I have to clean up the mess.
I hate being confused and I hate so much that I have lost the direction in my life 😕
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‎24-08-2017 09:37 PM
‎24-08-2017 09:37 PM
Re: where is my mind
I wish i had some answers or a directon for you to take that would just 'work'! I do get what my psychologist has kept on saying about learning self care strategies and things, which help and alleviate... but im also looking for more from life.
Here with you
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‎25-08-2017 08:26 PM
‎25-08-2017 08:26 PM
Re: where is my mind
I have often felt my mind spinning and out of control or out of reach.
It does not happen as often and it took a while of being in a calm home and learning the feeling of being safe, for it to start to settle.
It sounds as if you have a lot of trauma to process. I hope you have good people and a safe haven.
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‎25-08-2017 09:23 PM
‎25-08-2017 09:23 PM
Re: where is my mind
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‎25-08-2017 09:38 PM
‎25-08-2017 09:38 PM
Re: where is my mind
I have read somewhere today that we give trauma energy to retraumatised us - or something like that - if we remember it. But how do you forget!?
On the night of my 17th birthday my dad, brother and granddad went to pick up my uncle from the border, to get him out of the war zone. I think my grandma must have been in hospital as she wasn't there, or perhaps my granddad just came to pick up my uncle.
I had a friend with me at home. My mum got delivered a video tape from the war zone. She watched it and I don't know what she did then. I watched it with my friend. I saw the roads I used to walk, the houses I used to stay at and I saw a lot of dead people and amongst the waxern looking faces of the dead, I saw familiar faces. It felt surreal until I saw the dead, until I saw my family, until I saw my granddad lifting his hand as if he wanted to greet someone and then he collapsed outside a building. It was the day my other uncle died.
How can you forget things that scar you for life?