Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I've been having a bunch of really weird symptoms recently and I'm wondering if anyone else ever experiences them too?

When I've been 'full' brain wise, with a dozen or so thought streams running through my head, that I can't control or listen in to, but I can hear them and they distract me. And then I'm trying to talk and interact with someone in the real world and I apparently say things that I'm completely unaware of having said. It's like these thought streams I can't listen in on, control what I'm saying.

And I've been so scared and paranoid recently. I can't be alone at night. I keep hearing and seeing someone taking photographs of me and trying to break into my house. I'm absolutely terrified and end up calling the cops half a dozen times each night. But once the sun comes up, all that fear and paranoia goes away. And I can logically think that I might be imagining what I'm hearing and seeing, but at night I'm fully, FULLY convinced that I'm being watched and attacked. 

I hear voices when I drive. Yelling at me. Sirens. Horns. So loud and so constant. It's been going on for a while now and I know it's not real, but it's soo hard to deal with. I'm constantly checking over my shoulder to see if there is an ambulance behind me. 

Does this happen to anyone else?????

Feeling so lost, alone and terrified of my own mind. 

@CheerBear, @Teej, @Phoenix_Rising, @Appleblossom, @Faith-and-Hope, @Queenie @greenpea @Zoe7 @MDT @outlander @Former-Member @Catcakes @TAB

[TAB]

Omg .. @Former-Member am so sorry .. ok I have my ‘moments’ ok days/weeks sometimes and paranoia seems to be latest addition ok sometimes.. but not like that, no. Can you get help?

[Former-Member]

The thing is @TAB.... I'm not unwell at the moment. I'm not depressed or anything. I'm just..... irrational, and paranoid and confused. I just don't understand what is happening to me and why.
Do other people have similar experiences?
Why isn't the HC open right now?!?!?

[Appleblossom]

Sorry you are in the midst of all this. @Former-Member

I can relate to almost every line in your post.

Go gently with you while you have the 

multiply determined ... eg

Intrusive thoughts while driving is a bit scary for me .. related to a car accident I had ...

many different unprocessed trauma ....

flowing through you at the one time.

I am like that with wise mind, but I only heard of that concept in last 2 years, whereas I have struggled with these experiences since I was young.

Take care.  

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

I can understand you anxiety / panic attacks at night, I am also terrified of the dark. I can relate to hearing things (not voices in my head) but I haven’t seen things since I was a child / teenager. Are you able to have someone with you at night so you feel safer?

I know the helpline isn’t open, but you can contact @Former-Member if you need help.

Are you getting professional support? I am getting support and therapy and medication is helping me.

Hope you are having someone with you and feeling safe. Stay in touch.

[Zoe7]

Hi @Former-Member I can relate to the fear at night but in very different circumstances. I do not hear voices or see things like you do - that must be absolutely terrifying for you. Even though I cannot relsate to your experiences - I am sitting here with you and listening 

[Former-Member]

Thank you everyone.....
I just wish I knew why this was all happening? I don't understand why I'm suddenly terrified, absolutely scared out of my skin. It's always been a big fear, but now it's out of control.
As soon as the cat comes in, I'm going to drive to a friends house.

[Zoe7]

Drive safely @Former-Member and keep us updated as to how you are going 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Even though you are not feeling depressed at all @Former-Member, these other issues need seeing to as quickly as you can because they are making you feel unsafe and unwell in a new and different way ......

Please call your therapist and tell them what is going on for you ...... medication might help with getting it sorted, but there might be explanations that help you to be able to cope with what is going on.

Hugs and hugs Hon ..... can hear how frightened and confused you are.

💜

[MDT]

Hey @Former-Member

Havent heard from you for a bit. Thanks for the tag.

Have you considered booking in to see your psych? That sure sounds rough and what you are going through sounds bad. I hope you can get to the bottom of it quickly.

Take care my friend and let me know what transpires