10-10-2019 08:52 AM
10-10-2019 08:52 AM
Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working
asked to edit. messed around a while behind scenes on profile ... hope this is alright
They are similar to my approaches @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope
Glad things are better with your son. @Peri
Sometimes I like to go out at night, walk a bit with King Cat and look at the stars.
19-12-2019 10:34 PM
19-12-2019 10:34 PM
Hi @Appleblossom and @Faith-and-Hope , @Shaz51 , @Former-Member
well it is two months on from my last post. What has changed? Well my son and I are in a much better place. I know I still irritate him at times, but I remember how that feels, being irritated with ones parent. And it is not usual for a mo5er and son to be living together these days. I remember a TV program of that name, mother and son, I hope we don’t end up like that. Well I don’t have dementia, well not yet.
i try to keep occupied and take more interest in my house and all that. Some days I can trick myself into thinking I like it.
I have just read an interesting article about nihilism. The author said it was very liberating once they realised that there is actually no meaning to life, thata they were just a lump of meat on a rock. Then they actually became more interested in the rock than themselves. I don’t think I have actually reached that point yet, but the relief of not trying to find meaningwould be wonderful. Not having a purpose could be very liberating.
I have always felt my life had to have purpose, the purposes don’t have to be big, just the purpose of
being someone’s daughter, wife, mother etc, my career was a purpose and I valued the job and it’s role in society, nursing.
Now I do feel purposeless, but I need to see that that doesn’t matter and just enjoy the moment, the warmth of the sun, etc. but I am not so good at that.
I have lost so much, personally and materially and it weighs me down, but it really doesn’t matter at all. Now to adjust my thinking to this new way.
lately I have been missing my mother a great deal. She died some 14 years ago, and then this year my birth mother died. I feel their loss very acutely and sad about both in such different ways.. I try not to get stuck in it. I was so lucky my mum was wonderful and I had a charmed life and relationship with her. Then I met my birth mother and had fun with her for over 30 years. But I have been very aware of losing my mum and the thought of never being with her again.
Perhaps it is this time of the year, but I don’t think so.
My anxiety has been very high lately, some times I feel like my chest is going to explode with it.
I also don’t like getting older, I don’t care about all that age is just a number stuff or 60 is the new 50 or what ever, I don’t like it. It is not my dominant thought or anything, but lately I have been seeing the changes a lot.
thanks to anyone who reads this
peri
19-12-2019 11:14 PM
19-12-2019 11:14 PM
What a thoughtful post @Peri ... you just covered so much territory there. Some good things too, amongst some not-so-good. You really have great insight.
I am just off to try and get some sleep, so wont respond in detail now. I have been thinking of you though, and keep meaning to visit you here on your thread. But I have been a bit quiet lately.
I am sorry the loss of your mum/s have been on your mind lately. I do think Christmas makes us feel the loss of loved ones more than most other times. Probably coz its meant to be a time we spend with family. I too am feeling the loss of my mum much more again the past week or so. How the past 5 months have flown by since she died. And your birth mother passed away not too much more than that too.
Okay I am so tired I can barely read the screen now. I will get back to you tomorrow hopefully.
Really glad your relationship with your son is much improved too. 😀 And how about your little granddaughter, how is she going? I guess you are all spending christmas together?
Okay .. sorry ...bed time for me.
Good night dear @Peri
Sherry 💕
21-12-2019 09:15 PM
21-12-2019 09:15 PM
Hello @Former-Member
thanks for the reply, the loss of ones mother is, I think, really major and hard to adjust to and your loss is very recent.
My granddaughter is divine, she is here at the moment and has just gone with her daddy to have dinner. He is the most beautiful father. She has disabilities, he doesn’t see her limitations at all and just adores her. She brings a different perspective to life.
i hope you are ok, and being valued.
xx peri
22-12-2019 05:45 PM
22-12-2019 05:45 PM
sending you lots of tender hugs @Peri
@Former-Memberxxx
30-12-2019 02:30 PM
30-12-2019 02:30 PM
Thank you @Shaz51 , @Former-Member @Appleblossom
I am trying to get around this forum a bit more and meet people.
I am also a member of another forum and am amazed at how different the two sites are and the kind of posts on each. Overall I think this site is much more positive and supportive of people helping themselves. It is interesting
peri
30-12-2019 02:39 PM
30-12-2019 02:39 PM
Im glad to hear that we compare favourably here @Peri . I think we do too. 😀
I have noticed you getting around a bit more, and Im happy to see that. One thread I think I saw you on was @outlander so I will tag her in here too in case she doesnt know where to find you. If you need any assistance with navigating your way around, please just ask.
Sherry 💕
30-12-2019 05:50 PM
30-12-2019 05:50 PM
Hello @Former-Member , @Appleblossom , @Peri , @Faith-and-Hope , @Gazza75
Hugs my friends xx
30-12-2019 07:16 PM
30-12-2019 08:07 PM
30-12-2019 08:07 PM
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