08-07-2015 07:45 AM
08-07-2015 07:45 AM
thank you for being so kind, looks like i mis-read what you wrote, or maybe i just read too much into it, i do that, i see everything as my fault, even when it is not. please don't stop posting like you do either, i have read most of your posts with @PeppiPatty, i have followed your story too.
you are so lucky to be able to feel feelings, i can't seem to do that, i have no emotions, i seem to be disconnected from them, maybe it is a way for my mind to overcome my disasterous life, or the trauma of being alive.
i am sorry you have had to reclarify, i know you are having a tough time with family, luckily for me i have olittle contact with family so their can be no falling out with us. i have never spoken to my fathers family because they do not like him and their for me. they live in Germany, so effectivly i have only my mother.
thank you for being concerned, it is so thoughtful and touching for me to know others care
look after yourself
Jacques
08-07-2015 07:54 AM
08-07-2015 07:54 AM
I was not planning to leave, just not speak for fear of upsetting people, but it looks like a big misunderstanding, i misread what @Appleblossom wrote, i just felt like it was my fault, i do that a lot, i struggle to understand what people are thinking and meaning. i think it has just been too long from not speaking to anyone, i have lost my social skills.
lol, Arlo sound like he is a very loving dog, sometimes pets can be better than people, they don't abuse you, and are excited everytime you get home. and of course you are their whole world.
i think some days their are not many posts, i had the same problem yesterday, maybe a glitch in the system. working today though.
i can't believe how much @Mazarita has achived in such a short time, she is such an inspiration and srong woman. and the support from all of you guys has been amazing.
Take Care, speak to you soon
Jacques
08-07-2015 08:01 AM
08-07-2015 08:01 AM
please don't change the way you write, i like it, just a misunderstanding.
it sounds like we all have tought times at some point every week, mine was yesterday, i slept most of the day, i felt so guilty for it, but i was just so down, my mood shifts so fast it is hard to keep up. i don't know why my mood shifted yesterday, it seems to for no reason, maybe chemicals in the brain or something.
it si good you curl up, whatever works to calm yourself, my only safe place seems to be in the shower. for some reason i feel safe in the bathroom, the only place i feel at peace. i don't know why just seems safe.
i agree about making the bed, i make mine about 3 times per day. only because i live in the lounge room, our house does not have enough rooms. so i can't hide my bed behind a door, lol. it makes things difficult when i am asleep if someone comes to the house!!!!
anyway please don't worry or change a thing. it is my fault not yours. i like you just the way you are.
Jacques
08-07-2015 01:54 PM
08-07-2015 01:54 PM
Hi all,
Thanks again for the support here, it really does seem to be helping maintain focus on taking some practical, step-by-step moves to look after myself better.
@Jacques and @Appleblossom: I'm so glad you have sorted out a misunderstanding. 🙂
@PeppiPatty: Everytime you mention Arlo I want to give him a pat. 🙂
Feeling much better so far today. Fasted from midnight for a blood test, got out to the clinic on the bus this morning. Also had a B12 shot (something I regularly need but have been neglecting). Good stretching of legs at either end of the bus route. Had a brief, slightly unpleasant encounter with a woman at the bus stop but was able to shrug it off and not turn it into a great demonstration in my mind of how hostile the world is. Bought some liquorice tea at the health shop. Home again and feeling glad I made the move out again.
08-07-2015 01:54 PM
08-07-2015 01:54 PM
Now I am off to meet my son's new psychiatrist. He wanted to meet me and I hope he works out well for my boy.
Being a parent is something I would never change, even though relationships are not smooth. It changes us and makes us tougher because we have to step up as they are so young and vulnerable.
08-07-2015 02:30 PM
08-07-2015 02:30 PM
Dear @Mazarita
Arlo is in huge trouble........he will Not stop barking if he is tied up outside a shop.
Spoiled.....
Yeah @Mazarita
Thanks for the lovely mention of Arlo....., it cool to read your catching buses and handling silly people ........why doesnt the world go round and they all just smile instead of being silly?
08-07-2015 03:33 PM
08-07-2015 03:33 PM
@MazaritaIt is interesting the way the conversations cross each other, We get to see different sides of people becasue we all bring out different aspects of each other, without even trying.
@PeppiPattyYeah give that dog a pat for me too but only when he is out of trouble.
08-07-2015 04:56 PM
08-07-2015 04:56 PM
Hi @Mazarita
you have to be so proud of yourself, getting out their, seeing the world, you are so strong, i could never take public transport, too fightened, i am so happy you were able to work through the nasty person and keep it in perspective, i know how hard it is, and you were strong enough to continue with your journey after that, i am so happy for you.
As for the liquorice tea, you can keep that for yourself, does not sound like a great combination, give me coffee anyday, lol
i hope little by little you manage more and more, until you are free. a big virtual hug from me
08-07-2015 05:01 PM
08-07-2015 05:01 PM
I used to let silly little interpersonal clashes blow out of proportion in my mind too.It can be the straw that breaks our backs but I have now made it a discipline of mine to apologise but remove it from my mind and heart. I like the idea of an interior soul castle, which we need to nourish and protect.
I have just discovered Australian literature which explains a lot to me why so many aussies are so rude, agro and deeply unhappy whether or not they have any MI diagnosis. This has been a tough land to survive in for millenia. The recent prosperity for some is not equitably shared.
Eg My baby brother made far too much money for his and his family's good. His wife hates him and wants all the money. I would much prefer him alive and poor. He would agree with me now, but is still too stubborn to admit his forceful attitudes are problematic, and I have indulged a dying man and mediated and helped bring him and wife together for his kids sake. Maybe he wont die maybe there will be a miracle. We are at the fingers crossed stage.
IIn a spirit of unconditional acceptance for my son decided the only rule in my new house, was that we had to deal with the "Battle of the Benches". Eg the cats could be shooed off and I preferred he did not sit on it: Bums and hygeine etc.
08-07-2015 05:30 PM
08-07-2015 05:30 PM
Thanks, @Jacques. I'm a big coffee drinker and not that into herbal teas but liquorice tea is surprisingly sweet and delicious!
Interesting thoughts about Australian history, @Appleblossom, I'd have to agree. I'm sorry for the pain you have written about here and elsewhere. The issues seem complex and I lack experience of counselling others but I really wish you and your family well.
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