Lived Experience Forum

[mudsum]

Hey. 

I never know which thread to post in and previously have just found a random place to go. 

Mum struggling. Struggling bad tonight. My head races. 

I don’t think I can go to work but then I also don’t have an option really. 

Anxiety over everything I do- to the point where even a single thing I throw out I’m thinking- is it plastic, is it waste why did I make this landfill am I worth that? 

It sound seriously ridiculous but that’s how my thoughts have been travelling. I want to quit work but then my brain tells me no I must keep work! If I loose my job then I will never get back into the work force but keeping my job means I’m A wreck every night before work. 

Single mumma bear of two kids and even tonight one babe refused to go to sleep!!!

Hoping someone is around to reply 

[Millieme]

Hi, im struggling with thoughts and struggles with work, also extremely anxious. Not working this week but also a wreck from work when i do. One of my children are still awake also. They're nervous and anxious about going back to school tomorrow. I'm going over and over whether or not I even should be sending. Our state and school is pushing for all kids to be back but im not sure and all the arguments are going back and forth in my head.

[mudsum]

Thanks so much for your reply!!!
Yes yes it is the arguments in my head. Work dont work. Quit don’t quit!!!

My kids are confused too. They will be at school tomorrow as I’m classified as I’ll be at work. But gosh the stress is over load!

I haven’t even gotten things ready for lunchboxes. I have enjoyed the holidays. And it’s felt semi ok. But I really am battling going to work at all.
I was talking to a friend today and they are completely supportive but I don’t think they recognise just how hard it is when your mental health is not right.

[mudsum]

@Millieme  Please let me know how you went today. 

I’m in bed- my body won’t let me move! I feel like an idiot. How can someone be sooo unable to work!!!! Me!!! 

Just get up and do your job. Anybody else have these panic attacks before work? 

[Millieme]

Were you able to move and manage work? Sometimes the hardest part is getting moving but other times it's just all hard. I have to pull myself together week to get back to work next week.

I have struggled today and feeling really scared. Am drowning more and more lately. Every day gets worse in my head. Sorry

[Moonstone]

Hi @Millieme sorry to hear that you are feeling overwhelmed and have a sense of drowning, that's an awful feeling to have. Sometimes it can be helpful to think about small actions you can take to regain a sense of control. It can also be helpful to talk through some of these thoughts and feelings, so please reach out to one of the services below if you need to talk:

Lifeline - 13 11 14

Suicide Call Back Service - 1300 659 467 

Keep sharing on the forums and accessing support 🌸🌸

[Whitehawk]

Hi there @Millieme 

I am just posting you a check in as a follow up to Moonstone's post earlier today. I really hope that things have go a little easier for you this evening. Please keep seeking support on the forums, and if you need to reach out for support to help lines off the forum too.

Take care tonight

Whitehawk

[Mik33]

Sounds like you are in two minds about continuing working and quitting work. It's natural to want to escape work When it is so triggering. Plus having kids and parenting alone makes life so complicated. It's so hard to be kind to ourselves, especially when those thoughts won't stop. I am sending you some strength to try to get through this evening and some sleepy dust for your kids. Did you end up going to work? How was it? 

[mudsum]

@Mik33

@Millieme
Hey Thankyou both of you!!!
I want to spread a bit of hope! I did make it to work. As millieme said the getting moving was the hardest part of all. I cried for about an hour. Contemplated heading to hospital. And then finally the training of therapy kicked in and focused on body mindfulness. Then I got moving. My blessed little cherubs were up and ready for school!!!

I felt bad that I was in a rotten mood for them this morning but I gave all I could and when they weren’t sleeping I was with them.

After all my frazzle!!! I have made it through the weekend and the last month without SH.

So I’m sprinkling some hope and joy on this post now.

Mik33- thanks for your thoughtful response. you got kidlets.

Milieme. How’d you go.
Thankyou for being with me at the hardest point!!! Not sure if you are a hugger but If you are a huge one to you.

[mudsum]

@Zoe7 

i rember us talking about work previously but I often get so confused between threads. I’m amazed at how some of the others here keep track.