Hi friends,
I post on here from time to time, about my struggles living with my husband who has been experiencing paranoid persecutory delusions for two years now. He has no insight he is unwell, won't get medical help or see a counsellor and he is constantly trying to vent about his delusions to me, although I've said a million times I can't absorb any more of his stress.
I'm living in the 'fishbowl' of his illness where it's increasingly normalised for me, however I think he's getting worse. He seems to have paranoid episodes more often, where he'll carry on about the PIs he's seen following him, the conversations he's overheard of colleagues discussing his imminent arrest etc. He's had two such episodes in the past few days, lasting an hour or so each. It feels like these episodes happen more often than they did maybe a year ago. I usually try to distract him or redirect his attention, as often it turns into a conflict about why won't I believe him or see a defamation lawyer with him, I'm unsupportive, uncaring etc. He's also said I'm withholding affection because I'm not interested in intimacy - but why would I be that way inclined when he thinks the neighbours are watching us through spy cameras in the roof?!
Recently, he's started asking me whether I'm the person behind the conspiracy, he even asked this morning if I was having an affair.
I guess my question is how much is too much, to put up with? Yesterday it took me hours to calm down after his episode.
He's loosely agreed to see a doctor if he doesn't get arrested this week (he's been convinced the conspiracy is leading to an arrest on Friday). However he said he'll only tell the GP he has general work stress and nothing more, and that he doesn't want a diagnosis.
I love him and we've had a long, happy relationship before the past 2 years, but at this point i feel like his illness is making life really hard.
