Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Appleblossom]

yes @Viv the world ieels kinder re MI issues now than it was.

I have looked up spectrum and DBT clinic. Not sure whether I fit their criteria .. I have self diagnosed me with all the main illnesses, even recently been able to see mysels as OCD. Its not hubris but very lonely being mainly the visitor and not getting sufficient support of my own.

I agree re my mothers reluctance to engage, but she did have some responsibility for the mess she has left. I tried to reassure her and support her, even after I left home. I was often called in to sort out things.

When I was married by her priest friend, he warned me she was very stubborn.  at the time I was shocked, I had treated my mother with too much respect and love.  Mum made me woo the social workers to get the others back from the welfare.from when I was 10. . that is one of my worries maybe they would still be alive it they had stayed in care .. but then the suicide stats there are not too good either.

There was never any support for me as a child or adult, after my father pased away. Just responsibility for younger sibs heaped on my shoulders.When I was a teenager there was only bossing, put downs and confiding in me about the devils that were trying to have sex with her at night.  I was shocked and had to distance my self.  She did not get help when I was physically or sexually assaulted when I was a minor in her care. I had to get away and get to the bottom of sexuality and mental health issues and I engaged with them head on.

She caused the director of a family therapy centre to phone me and explain she was undermining me behind me back by being sly, promising to go to a session, but cancelling at last minute, and writing letters.about me behind my back.

She wrote that "the cause of my evil was in my hair." I have had to figure out a lot to survive at all. She is lucky she did not have 3 suicides to her credit.

When she mocked me about having an "orphanage" when I tried to care for and include my dead brothers children with my own .. it was the end of my respect for her. I tried to my duty to her but something in me died.

No, she did not apologise for anything. My brother had been violent, I was gently trying to get some acknowledgement. Sometimes religion can give people a very BIG head and be used as a decoy for ulterior motives..

[Appleblossom]

I am not sure my family would be diagnoses as a BPD family .. there were actually multiple diagnoses of schizophrenia, but they may not have been accurate .. given todays understanding about MI.

My main need is to hook with a group in an ongoing and constructive manner. I wasnt to work for change. I hope I can be effective in helping and also get occasional peer support for myself.  I am not in crisis, but isolation or the "not mentioning anything about MI" is not healthy.  I dont want to burden my musical networks with MI issues..