Lived Experience Forum

[Sophia1]

love your responses @Maggie @greenpea @outlander 

at the same time not diminishing others whom I have tagged not responding..

as I know that there are times where i myself and others are just not able for whatever reason..

perhaps even unable to.. understand this also

I cancelled a few carers outings at the last minute which I regret so much.. they were outings that so appealed..

I just could not do it..

how sad is that...

how pathetic is where I go...I am crying as I write...what is so bad about me that I cannot even go on an outing with others who have some issues in their lives...why am I so much more indespicable..

there are very quiet people whom I talk to who now seek me out ...they are so interesting to listen to..

what is wrong with the rest of the world.

[outlander]

evening @Sophia1
I don't think its sad that you couldn't go, its very clear your struggling and sometimes its tiring and so draining to be around others even when we know we usually have a good time.
its hard not to compare ourselves with others, after all we are only human. everyone has their own experiences and with that comes their own way of coping. try not to be to hard on yourself, I know very much easier said then done.
sending big hugs and much love to you 💙💙💙💙

[Sophia1]

hello @outlander  

thank you

I had cancelled several outings due to my own state of depression..

I did go to a lunch event for the "mental health group today"

there was a lady whom I have wanted to spend more time getting to know from other excursions and that was a blessing as she is so interesting to talk to..as well as wanting to keep in contact...fabulous for me as interests are the same..

ended up at husband's sport club...sadly heard more bad news...

friend with a certain condition wanting to go away together..I am more than happy.. interfere with sports????also to be fair husband involved with new house build...

so I need to be ???

[outlander]

im glad that you managed to go to the lunch event today, it sounds like your making new friends too even better that she is good to talk with and have the same interests as well.

is your new house build still happening? do you think itd be possible for hubby to go away for a few days?
If he does perhaps you could do something nice for yourself like get your nails done or your hair done or something that might make you feel refreshed?

[Sophia1]

thank you @outlander 

I am not into having nails done scenario..I just paint my own laugh..

husband is working very hard as well as learning that he needs to step back and let builders do their stuff...

I did manage to go to lunch with group not sure if I have already said this or not...state of mind...

Many changes are happening within carers field and this particular lady exchanged phone numbers.

I have already started a group meeting for lunches ongoing  which is working very well.

A lovely lunch today ...She has exchanged phone nos and is keen to be involved with the group that I have already created..

So promising times ahead....

How simple....

at the same time how ridiculous that there is not more of this?????

[outlander]

sometimes the simple things are the ones that are forgotten @Sophia1 kind of like it slips into the background.
I think its great that you've started a group, that is really great and also sounds like its taking off well too.

honestly im not into nails and things either, though im getting my hair redone this weekend. hasn't been done in so long and theres a weekend special on for haircuts so ive decided to go and get some of the dead ends and fly aways fixed up.

its hard to step back sometimes when we are so fiercely independent. I had to giggle at your hubby having to step back, im abit like that too. I just want to get in and help sometimes lol

[Sophia1]

sorry to confuse you @outlander @Maggie @greenpea @Adge 

which is no small wonder considering my writing at the moment...

husband does not step back in any shape form or matter re build of new home ...on top of everything...one of a kind who is gifted in just about everything manually!! he practically built his last home...excelled in sport..rotary...now latest sport interest...

Myself... zilch interest in playing sport...hmm tried it once did not work...team membership at work yes...in private time...no...definite no...not happeing....

therein is the problem.....

yes he is doing some....?

letting go of all other is an issue..????

Compromise is the new word.. laugh..!!!!

at the same time I cannot gather the enthusiasm that I should have...

I cannot let go of my family member ...despite younger son tells me...not that younger son gains financially..he just sees the emotional debris,..

So?

Where am I now?

[outlander]

@Sophia1 💙💕💚💜❤

[greenpea]

@Sophia1  Oh Sophia1 I feel your pain. Wish I could make it go away or take on some of it for you. Love peaxxxx

[greenpea]

@Sophia1  I couldn't let go either ....