Lived Experience Forum

[Patches59]

Thanks @BlueBells  think I needed to put the words in writing in area I feel safe.

I keep trying to remember the thing about ‘things within my control’.  Have fears of being abandoned but would rather it be just my 2 cats and me than being abused again.

time to go back to sewing drapes for my new home which I move into at start of October followed by late afternoon couch and cuddles time with my fur babies

[Patches59]

Thanks @hanami Next appointment with my psychologist is in couple weeks time.  I’ve only seen her 3 times so far and had to have 4 week break between 3rd and 4th sessions due to her having holidays.

im lucky I have my cats, without them I dread to think where I would be.

they are only 3year old but both very obviously detecting when I’m feeling really low as demand to be nursed or curl up on the couch with me regardless what I’m doing

[hanami]

Our fur babies are everything aren't they @Patches59 . I'm glad you have them too!

[BlueBells]

Hi @Patches59

I certainly understand being able to speak freely without the fear of judgement. It took me years to open up, as that was my fear, that I may say something "wrong" or upset someone, etc.

My cats are all torties, and so they tend to be more self-centred. One does seem to care a bit when I'm unwell, but the others, food and attention (sit on laptop) seems the order of the day lol.

It is good to have company though, and a reason to be active to some degree, and helps us focus outside our own head a bit.

I think @hanami has good comments, too.

[Patches59]

My male is white with ginger tabby markings, my female is tortie.  When I’m feeling really low she talks to me, one of the few times she makes any noise.  When in bed and I’m not settled she crawls in under the covers and curls into a ball between me and my arm.

so many things from our past also impact on things as adults we do.  One of the hardest things for me as an adult has been to feel ok about crying. Speaking to on call counsellor recently she helped me see this is due to words that were drilled into my brain through abuse in early teen years.  

it took me a long time to start to open up and talk about things without fear of being made to feel there was something wrong with me or be ridiculed

[BlueBells]

@Patches59

Over the years we've had torties, most are fine, but three of these, I think they are in continual territorial wars, I'm part of the territory 🙂

The boys, it was "boys don't cry", but I think with me, the boys picked on me , sissy, but maybe (hindsight) it showed mum I was under control. (sad to say that.)

A good counselor will help you see and hear what you are saying, not tell you what they think. It's worth the hunt for a good one 🙂

[Patches59]

@BlueBells  I know what you mean about territorial.  My tortie hisses, growls, snarls through the glass whenever there is stray cat in the yard.  Has even started fights with my male at times.

psychologist I’m currently seeing appears might be ok, have only seen her 3 times though so hard to know. First 2sessions taken up by going through timeline of events I had type up.  Majority of the time she would mention an event and then let me say what I was comfortable to say.  Next appointment in couple weeks during which local dr has asked me to ask the psychologist her thoughts on me seeing psychiatrist 

[Patches59]

I grew up with having pets.  My parents had cocker spaniel and a tortie when I was born.  I was given my first pet, little brown with white toes dog, when I was about 3.  Over the years I’ve had tabbies of different colours, grey and whites and couple all white cats.  My dogs have been foxy cross all of them.  Have also had rabbits, chooks, budgies and canaries.

I count myself lucky that my parents plus grandparents believed in kids having pets

[BlueBells]

@Patches59

Trying again. Had a reply typed, wouldn't post, then vanished.

Our family always had cats and dogs around. I had 3 chooks, they lived to their teens. Also guinea pigs, and a couple of goats.

After only three visits, why would the doc be thinking psychiatrist? One needs about five visits generally to really get the 'feel'

[BlueBells]

@Patches59 continued (hit post accidently)

One needs about five visits generally to get the 'feel' of a therapist, if compatible.

You sound like you have a good one