Lived Experience Forum

[Eucalypt]

Hi @TheVorticon and @CheerBear ,

Managing those feelings of loss can be tough when contact with someone we care about ceases – whatever the reason. Acknowledging your feelings in this situation is important.

In an anonymous online context like the SANE forums we sometimes never know why a person has ceased to be present on the forums – and sitting with this can be so difficult. We encourage members who are struggling with this or other aspects of forums use to contact us via email for support: team@saneforums.org  

[CheerBear]

Thanks @TheVorticon. I really appreciate hearing that. I live with the guilt of things I should have done differently that aren't/isn't seen and the difficulty of not feeling able to talk, in part because anon relationships are not really acknowledged or understood by most people. I'm not sure whether this is the case for you but I'm sensing there could be some tricky guilt kind of stuff brewing for you (based on you mentioning the "should've" and the "I hurt them"). You're an awesome anon person to know. I know how supportive you are and how it has felt so good to have your support. I hope you can hold on to the last part you said in that your intentions were good and take some comfort in that.

It's really cool to see you posting. I get how hard it can be to do when you're feeling like you're not sure whether anyone would want to. No hugs but thoughts to you.

[TheVorticon]

Even if my main current issue is about a situation on a forum other than SANE @Eucalypt?

Thanks @CheerBear. Thoughts to you too.

[Teej]

Hey @TheVorticon , @CheerBear 

I’m sorry things didn’t go so well @TheVorticon . I’ve been in that position before where someone left this forum because I pushed their boundaries without realising. It was someone I cared for deeply. I hurt and felt guilty for a very long time. I had a bit of a fairy tale ending in that they returned to the forum many months later and I was able to apologise and try to make amends which was accepted. It’s someone who is not around much anymore. My point to writing this is that even if there isn’t a fairytale ending I learned some hard life lessons that we all have to at times.....or we’d all be perfect. Those things we regret are often just mistakes with no malice and usually just concern and support for the person. I’ve taken such a long time to realise mistakes are a learning point. It takes the hurt to pass though before the learning can be done.

you could always write an apology on that forum regardless of if the person reads it or not. 

I agree with @CheerBear  in that I see you as caring and supportive. I know that you wouldn’t intentionally do anything to hurt someone you care for. Hopefully they will realise this too. If not please remember the many who support @TheVorticon hear you and are here to listen (although I have a feeling I just lectured 😳). Take care of you. 

Any update @CheerBear too for how today is for you. 

Im going kicking and screaming into today but am coping better than yesterday. 

@Maggie I was totally in awe of the quote you put up today. It really resonated with me. I loved it. Something to look at when I feel a conflicted mess. 

It may not look like it but my brain is still fried and will be for a bit longer. I’m sure I’m missing members all over the forum where I’ve been tagged but can’t do much still. 

[CheerBear]

Hey @Teej. I was replying to this 👍❤ ⬆️ post yesterday but got busy with house stuff then driving. Any kicking and screaming today (how are things going for you today?).

I saw some azaleas at unwell and well people's house last night that reminded me of you as I've shared them with you a few times now. I'll try and get some photos soon. So many petaled pretties out at the moment.

Sorry you were still fried yesterday. Sometimes it can take a while to de-fry.

Lotsa ❤

[CheerBear]

Also wondering how you're going today @TheVorticon? (If you feel like sharing). No pressure though.

[Teej]

Thanks @CheerBear for remembering sharing those pretties. It would be lovely at this time of year.

I am really tired (drowsy tired) and trying to get into my day which is proving a tough thing just now. Sorry not much to share, more cause I’d have to find words. In the meantime dole of organising refit of old house and dealing with sales people and tradesman and my ex. I’m on edge much of the time. Ex has managed to throw spanners into the works again and it’s messing with my head. I don’t trust myself much at the moment again because I’m too trusting and naive. This all came just as I’d started to move on from it all. 

@TheVorticon I wanted to share that I messed up big time yesterday with a friend. When panicked I sent her a text message that was insensitive and totally inappropriate. When I realised hours after I apologised. Then had to spend the hours of hell to see if she’d respond. She did this morning but I still feel childish and stupid that I sent it. I’m trying to make peace with myself. In the past this kind of thing would have flipped me right over the edge. Maybe it’s just a very slow learning curve.....in my case a prehistoric. I hope today is ok for you. 

[eth]

Hi @CheerBear and @Teej  sending love your way.  We don't catch up often these days, but I do follow along when I can.  Just saying I think of you both often and hope today is one of the better days for you both xx

[CheerBear]

@eth thanks ❤ That's a lovely message and sending plenty back to you also 😊 I think we might be on the forum at different times maybe. I spend a bit of time here before the sun comes up usually. Following along with you as I can too and thinking of you also.

We are having a taste of summer here today. Zooper Dooper weather 😁 Hope your day is having some good in it ❤

[TheVorticon]

Hi @Teej and @CheerBear and hi to you too @eth 🙂

Teej - I'm glad to read that things worked out both with your forum friend and sms friend. It must have taken a lot of courage to try apologising when you weren't sure how it would end up, so I'm pleased for you that it worked out.

I'm doing a bit better with it today. But maybe it's just because it's been overshadowed by a thing I posted a couple of days ago in a thread that I'd previously started. That's a thing that shouldn't even be a thing but to me feels like a THING.