Skip to main content
Voiletta
Casual Contributor

Sick of toxic workplaces

Hello all, I'm having a really hard time I've recently quit my horrible toxic workplace after nearly 3 years, after having endured targeted bullying, sexism, exclusion, isolation, baseless accusations, blatant lying and victim blaming. I have always had issues with being assertive and standing up for myself but after my manager disabled my account, removed all my permissions while I was annual leave accused me of serious accusations and refused to communicate this with me nor provide any evidence.

 

Everything went downhill from there, with my manager being aggressive when I tried to dispute anything or reply, cutting me off telling me I'm incorrect and don't know anything. Long story short I had to leave for the benefit of my mental and physical wellbeing as even after directly discussing my concerns and highlighting injustices with HR present, my manager admitted to everything, called me sensitive, threatened to fire me, and refused to acknowledge how his actions like telling the team not to talk to me had affected my health.

 

I filled for workcover, providing over a years worth of evidence, but it got rejected due to 1 event that the workplace had seemed reasonable management action, although it had not been nor even accessed if it was. 

 

I appealed for a review, started seeing a great counsellor.

 

I was headhunted for a new position which made me feel valued and worthy. I quit my toxic job after several rounds of interviews and promises of a supportive and structured workplace.

 

Started the 100% remote job, had some issues with the trainer not communicating, which I provided constructive feedback to my manager in hopes to improve the training, I did notice a few red flags once I started in the team, manager didn't communicate, I had no direction or knew what I was expected to do. 

 

Week 3 started, I started actually working with help of other collegues, started feeling good about the job and was pulled into a zoom meeting with my manager and HR, they advised my background checked came back unsatisfactory and was terminated immediately.

 

When I asked what specifically as I've never in my entire life had issues passing these, they refused to divulge explaining that it was confidential. I asked if it had anything to do with my previous workplace being a customer of this workplace? No answers, I asked for a copy of my personal information they based my termination on, they refused. My manager said "one day you'll look back and laugh about this". I told him I most certainly would not. 

 

I felt like I had been sucker punched. I had left my toxic workplace for this one and had even turned down another job offer from a previous work place with better pay for this one in hopes I would learn valuable skills.

 

After being terminated I had an outpour of support from current and previous colleagues of the new workplace, ex colleagues who had experience worse issues a current members who advised it was a blessing I had left as it wasn't a good workplace. 

 

I know I would have left after learning what I could have, but I just feel robbed, not only of the experience but the feeling my old workplace has continued to affect my life and potentially provided false and defamatory feedback. 

 

Ive had a horrible year, not only with work but family life and im struggling to find purpose as my hobbies and passion relates to my work. I'm apprehensive a d scared to even try applying for jobs again. I don't want to work for another toxic workplace. I feel like a failure, I've never been fired from a job before.  I just feel numb and worthless. Any advice guidance or resources would be greatly appreciated.

6 REPLIES 6

Re: Sick of toxic workplaces

Hi @Voiletta , 

Welcome to our community and thank you for sharing. 

So sorry to hear all the unfair treatment you had in your previous workplace. I also think you have made a right decision in terminating your job there....

It's good to hear you have had a lot of support, it shows there are more good people than bad people. So instead of doubting yourself because of what the bad people said, think about all the good words others have said to you. 

We are here for you, so reach out if there is anything we can help you with. 

Re: Sick of toxic workplaces

Hi @Voiletta and welcome to the forums

 

You've had a quite a few set backs there, so it's very understandable that you'd be apprehensive about looking for another job. It sounds like you've had a really bad string of bad luck, but I guess it all seems to go back to this first workplace where you had to endure this toxicity. 

 

Are you able to get in contact with the previous workplace who you mentioned had offered you work and explain that your circumstances have changed and you'd be interested in the role?

 

I'd like to assure you that from what you have shared here you are certainly not a failure, it's these workplaces who have failed you. I know that sometimes we can tend to tie up our self-worth with our successes at work, but your job does not define your worthiness. You have worth just being you!

 

I hear that your hobbies and interests are also quite tied to your profession, so this is making you feel a bit lost in yourself right now, but I wonder if you could try to note all the other important roles you take on in your life outside of work, and all the qualities that make you you? For example one quality I can see from your experiences is strength - to stand up for yourself and leave your toxic job, and to put together that work cover claim, this all takes strength and courage. 

 

It also takes courage to reach out here, and I hope that doing that has helped 💗

 

 

Re: Sick of toxic workplaces

Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to read my post and proving such kind works, I really do.

Re: Sick of toxic workplaces

Thank you, your response has been really helpful. And yes I have indeed contacted my old workplace that offered me a job and the job has now been taken but they offered to contact other workplaces due to my skills and ability. They advised they would have another position come available but may be some time. I am considering just waiting as I know it would be a much more supportive and positive environment as since ive left that workplace they've all kept in contact and tried to get me back. I guess that's some solace is if I was actually crap at my job I wouldn't have such nice ex work colleagues wanting me back.

Your kind words of being worthy just being me really hit me hard, I often forget this and your right I need to stop letting it define me.

The important roles I take outside of work often have to do with helping others in any shape or form, mostly to do with their work. I see what your saying and this, I think I needed to think and hear this, I spend alot of time training and helping friends or acquaintances any way I can using the skills I have in coaching, listening and research. I really enjoy helping others and troubleshooting.

It's taken me alot to show stand up for myself and try and set boundaries, not just and work but personal life and family. I got to the point where I realised my family were nearly as bad as my toxic workplace and I let it happen for over 30 years it really had was eye-opening the one time I stood up for myself. Which was recently instead of support I was met with the same behaviours as my toxic workplace. And I think that's really what made me stop and think, im sick of this and with the new job I tried hard to be assertive, which I could tell wasn't well received. But your right they failed me, and lost a potential good employee. It's just a struggle at the moment to get past it, but I guess given the bad I should maybe take me time before even starting to look for another job.

I really want to say thanks, this has helped me look at it from a perspective j hadn't thought of. Thank you, your kind words really really meant alot to me.

Re: Sick of toxic workplaces

Hi Voiletta. Thanks for sharing your story. I can completely relate to your experiences with a toxic workplace. I am in a bad place now too because of something similar happening. In my case I think I might have to volunteer for a while. I really hope this works out for me. I hope whatever you do next works out too.

Re: Sick of toxic workplaces

Hey @Cleo2 @Voiletta just a lil tip, if you want other members to be notified that you've responded, you can tag them - use the @ symbol and a drop down will appear, and you can choose their name. If their name isn't there, you can type it out and it should then appear for you to select, then it will show up in blue, like this: @Ru-bee 😊