18-09-2024 09:39 AM
18-09-2024 09:39 AM
Hello all, I'm having a really hard time I've recently quit my horrible toxic workplace after nearly 3 years, after having endured targeted bullying, sexism, exclusion, isolation, baseless accusations, blatant lying and victim blaming. I have always had issues with being assertive and standing up for myself but after my manager disabled my account, removed all my permissions while I was annual leave accused me of serious accusations and refused to communicate this with me nor provide any evidence.
Everything went downhill from there, with my manager being aggressive when I tried to dispute anything or reply, cutting me off telling me I'm incorrect and don't know anything. Long story short I had to leave for the benefit of my mental and physical wellbeing as even after directly discussing my concerns and highlighting injustices with HR present, my manager admitted to everything, called me sensitive, threatened to fire me, and refused to acknowledge how his actions like telling the team not to talk to me had affected my health.
I filled for workcover, providing over a years worth of evidence, but it got rejected due to 1 event that the workplace had seemed reasonable management action, although it had not been nor even accessed if it was.
I appealed for a review, started seeing a great counsellor.
I was headhunted for a new position which made me feel valued and worthy. I quit my toxic job after several rounds of interviews and promises of a supportive and structured workplace.
Started the 100% remote job, had some issues with the trainer not communicating, which I provided constructive feedback to my manager in hopes to improve the training, I did notice a few red flags once I started in the team, manager didn't communicate, I had no direction or knew what I was expected to do.
Week 3 started, I started actually working with help of other collegues, started feeling good about the job and was pulled into a zoom meeting with my manager and HR, they advised my background checked came back unsatisfactory and was terminated immediately.
When I asked what specifically as I've never in my entire life had issues passing these, they refused to divulge explaining that it was confidential. I asked if it had anything to do with my previous workplace being a customer of this workplace? No answers, I asked for a copy of my personal information they based my termination on, they refused. My manager said "one day you'll look back and laugh about this". I told him I most certainly would not.
I felt like I had been sucker punched. I had left my toxic workplace for this one and had even turned down another job offer from a previous work place with better pay for this one in hopes I would learn valuable skills.
After being terminated I had an outpour of support from current and previous colleagues of the new workplace, ex colleagues who had experience worse issues a current members who advised it was a blessing I had left as it wasn't a good workplace.
I know I would have left after learning what I could have, but I just feel robbed, not only of the experience but the feeling my old workplace has continued to affect my life and potentially provided false and defamatory feedback.
Ive had a horrible year, not only with work but family life and im struggling to find purpose as my hobbies and passion relates to my work. I'm apprehensive a d scared to even try applying for jobs again. I don't want to work for another toxic workplace. I feel like a failure, I've never been fired from a job before. I just feel numb and worthless. Any advice guidance or resources would be greatly appreciated.
18-09-2024 09:57 AM
18-09-2024 09:57 AM
Hi @Voiletta ,
Welcome to our community and thank you for sharing.
So sorry to hear all the unfair treatment you had in your previous workplace. I also think you have made a right decision in terminating your job there....
It's good to hear you have had a lot of support, it shows there are more good people than bad people. So instead of doubting yourself because of what the bad people said, think about all the good words others have said to you.
We are here for you, so reach out if there is anything we can help you with.
18-09-2024 01:58 PM
18-09-2024 01:58 PM
Hi @Voiletta and welcome to the forums
You've had a quite a few set backs there, so it's very understandable that you'd be apprehensive about looking for another job. It sounds like you've had a really bad string of bad luck, but I guess it all seems to go back to this first workplace where you had to endure this toxicity.
Are you able to get in contact with the previous workplace who you mentioned had offered you work and explain that your circumstances have changed and you'd be interested in the role?
I'd like to assure you that from what you have shared here you are certainly not a failure, it's these workplaces who have failed you. I know that sometimes we can tend to tie up our self-worth with our successes at work, but your job does not define your worthiness. You have worth just being you!
I hear that your hobbies and interests are also quite tied to your profession, so this is making you feel a bit lost in yourself right now, but I wonder if you could try to note all the other important roles you take on in your life outside of work, and all the qualities that make you you? For example one quality I can see from your experiences is strength - to stand up for yourself and leave your toxic job, and to put together that work cover claim, this all takes strength and courage.
It also takes courage to reach out here, and I hope that doing that has helped 💗
18-09-2024 02:00 PM
18-09-2024 02:00 PM
18-09-2024 02:19 PM
18-09-2024 02:19 PM
18-09-2024 05:43 PM
18-09-2024 05:43 PM
Hi Voiletta. Thanks for sharing your story. I can completely relate to your experiences with a toxic workplace. I am in a bad place now too because of something similar happening. In my case I think I might have to volunteer for a while. I really hope this works out for me. I hope whatever you do next works out too.
18-09-2024 06:40 PM
18-09-2024 06:40 PM
Hey @Cleo2 @Voiletta just a lil tip, if you want other members to be notified that you've responded, you can tag them - use the @ symbol and a drop down will appear, and you can choose their name. If their name isn't there, you can type it out and it should then appear for you to select, then it will show up in blue, like this: @Ru-bee 😊
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