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hi @eudemonism , hope things improve for you with this situation. My problem is not worry what people think of me, it's worry that I'll be provoked and bite back.
I have a person with a personality disorder where I volunteer. It's my job to be polite, friendly and welcoming to all the participants there but this person always baits me with ways to start a conflict/argument becuase she loves arguing and agro so she can play the victim. And she does that very noisily. SHe's even threatened to sue where I volunteer when they've been nothing but kind, welcoming and patient with her no matter how agro or unrealsonable or dramatic she is. She has no gratitude and that really gets unders my skin.
I really value my volunteer job so I can't let her ruin it for me. My coping strategy is to have the bare minimum contact with her. I'm polite but I don't answer her questions (which are always weird and the start of an argument) or engage with her behaviours. In reply, she says very loudly, "Oh I must have done something wrong today, BryanaCamp isn't talking to me, I don't know what I did to make her so angry". This makes me look bad and is extremely annoying but I don't take the bait I just ignore it. The staff know how agro and dishonest she is, always stirring up drama or trouble so I think I'd be ok if she put in a complaint against me. It's quite stressful and I really resent her behaviours.
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