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  • Author : eudemonism
  • support : 3
  • Topic : Looking after ourselves
2019-03-11T08:19:44+00:00
eudemonism
Senior Contributor

I've found there's that trap of feeling like you have to please people and say yes to everyone who wants to use you-because you have no other options... then there's the resentment that comes with this... (you feel wronged, you blame them, but you know they'll get angry if you have a go at them, then you'll feel guilty and like you owe them)

 

and then there's the scenario of insecurity and fear of what will happen if you say no... when really saying no is ending the codependancy and taking steps toward working on yourself, putting yourself first and ending the toxic codependance... + letting them know where your boundaries are and that you'd like them to be able to look after/care for themselves better...

 

I suppose I'm tired of being called by certain people. And then having them ask me to help them. Because they can't ask for genuine help when it comes to empowering themselves to solve their own problems. The common themes. Have you got money? Have you got tabaco? Do you wanna come around? Can you take me to the supermarket?

 

I got myself to look after. I got my own problems. I got my own life to live...

 

They act like the friendship/relationship is about my problems. Just so they can justify popping the question to get what they want. And yea. It stresses me to the bone. I've worked out... that everything they think, say or do... is purely and solely about themselves... and their comfort... and I'm thinking i might as well do the same thing from now on...

 

But first. I've gotta let go of caring about what OTHER people think... Because other people don't have to walk in my shoes, deal with my problems, bare my burdens, live my life, provide myself with my needs and wants, be accountable for my mistakes, or manage my responsibilities...

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