Hi @TazCat and welcome to the forums 👋
Sorry to hear of the struggles you have with your beloved wife ..... many of us are familiar with similar difficulties, and being here together helps us to learn, support each other, and persevere .....
Many of us also supplement these (anonymous = no-meet-ups-face-to-face) forums with therapy and support groups in our cities, towns, regions. A network of support like that is a good spread to have, and it meets different needs and circumstances, particularly where people are socially isolated for whatever reason.
For us the core issue is severely eating disordered but well hidden behaviours in my darling husband, but I expect when he can eventually be diagnosed it will be with multiple conditions. I am no expert, but he was an intense workaholic prior to this set of behaviours triggering, and that registers as an OCD condition ..... and there is more ..... it seems we have a personality disorder basis in here somewhere that needs tweaking back into a compatible state with maintaining relationships, which are under immense strain currently.
Anyway .... I will tag you from a few other threads, to meet some other forumites. Feel free to respond where it suits you.
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