My dear Pat1
What you describe is very familiar to me and my son. The combination of the blame, lack of insight and reluctance to take medication is very similar to what I have experienced with my son over the last 6 years. We had 2 hospitalizations last year and it was an absolute nightmare for me his only carer! Please take a rest and do something for yourself!! This is critical because it might be bad now, but it could in fact get worse as you both walk the fine line of trying to get him on the right medication cocktail to stabilize his symptoms. In fact my son ran off from Emergency when we were last trying to admit him and I was at blame for everything, you’ve fxxxxed he would say all the time. His threats of calling the police have even came true for me because he was seriously psychotic and I had to restrain him from self-harm and I got arrested for helping him, so it can unfortunately get a lot worse. Got the best ever advice from my cousin who has cared for my aunty with bipolar for most of her life “self-care, self-care, self-care“ please emphasize this a lot Pat1 because you need to be mentally strong and physically fit. I get it that you want to be in the hospital as much as possible so he doesn’t become institutionalized but try as much as you can to take a break and do something for yourself because you deserve it and need it!
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