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Historylover
Senior Contributor

Much needed vent.

If any individual - a neighbour, for example, asked all the most personal questions a therapist of any stripe did, we would think them highly impertinent - a sticky beak.  However we allow therapists to ask us anything, invade our privacy without restraint, and we comply - tell them all of our private business as a matter of course, thinking we are being helped.

 

It is implied to be part of our treatment and our hoped for recovery to do so - but if their treatments worked, we wouldn't be here on this forum asking each other for support and assistance - often, for years on end.  Desperate for help.

 

In my opinion, we are exploited in a heartless even unconscionably, sadistic way.  They are completely devoid of scruples and we are exploited then often, simply moved on.  While our conditions worsen and our lives waste.

 

It seems more likely that they are invading our privacy for the purpose of satisfying their curiosity as to how the 'other half lives'.  

 

They 'diagnose' copiously - making highly questionable - even laughable, lists of disorders to satisfy your curiosity as to what is 'wrong with you', (from me - you are severely traumatised from the conditioning and experiences you have endured which have altered your personality, your perceptions, your social standing, destroyed your family, employability, security etc.), prescribe drugs of one type or another, one dosage or another, suggest barbaric procedures which are, in my opinion, little more than needless experimentation.  And we comply - or some of us do - with misplaced, naive trust.  But none are cured.

 

I have made the following observation - that society is made up of winners and losers.  In general, winners can't make a wrong move and everything goes their way.  We losers can't get a break.  We do everything right, do it well, yet nothing ever goes right for us.  And no therapist will help us because we are the group which pays their bills.  Occasionally a loser wins - and that provides the impetus for we losers to keep trying, but, for us, to no avail.

 

Helping us would deny them their superiority, their source of reliable income, their place in a system which works - for them.  They would become one of us - and that would never do.

 

So how long have you been 'in treatment'?  Can you look back and see what amazing progress you have made?  Are you doing other that paying their bills?

81 REPLIES 81

Re: Much needed vent.

Hi @Historylover ,

I understand your vent. I have been in therapy since I was 16 and I am 56 so I've been through many psychiatrists. Some gave me therapy and some just medication. I am still unemployed with brief periods of employment throughout my life and some voluntary jobs. My therapy is only partly successful as I still hear voices every day. My depression comes and goes. Winter being a bad time as I seem to have seasonal affective disorder. I wouldn't say my treatment is a complete success. I think a psychiatrist would put that down to BPD. One did. It is assumed that the lack of success is my fault. I try to do what I can and I try to keep positive. But sometimes I just feel like giving up. I know I'm not the only one that feels this way. I think therapy has a long way to go so I try to treet myself. Seeing my psychiatrist for medication only. This site is a way of reaching out to people going through similar problems and finding out what works for them. Maybe it will work for me.

lost9

Re: Much needed vent.

Hi @Historylover 

 

I have had trouble trying to keep a therapist for ages now - just bad luck I think - two moved interstate, one retired, the first one died and the last one was not a good fit but yes - one I saw was incredibly curious person and pecked at my brain asking questions I didn't want to answer - there are places in our lives that are deeply personal and maybe their asking is okay - we can answer the question for ourselves but tell someone else - no way - so I understand that. This one was intrusive and I didn't like it at all

 

It is certainly not pleasant having what can be called Mental Illness - I question the name actually - I feel okay about calling depression, anxiety, PTSD, grief and some other reactions to life emotional discomfort - to me they are perfectly natural and yes - we may need help learning to deal with them but they are not really the serious and debilitating conditions experienced by some people - as unpleasant and life-spoiling as they can be.

 

I have given up trying to find someone actually - I know there are good people about - the first psychologist I had was excellent - he died - I was seriously unhappy and grieved when he did - he was the one who helped me overcome the emotions I experienced after my son's disturbed life ended and I never felt so destroyed after that - but yes - since my mother died I did need some help and it was hard to find. Apart from the one I called a "brain-picker" to myself I found the others okay had they lasted - except for the very young one - the last one.

 

When it comes to "labels" though I wonder how useful they are - perhaps it's necessary to have these terms to communicate with other professionals - perhaps people are desperate to know what's wrong and they desperately want to be fixed so a label might help as much as it can be unhelpful - I don't know

 

But truly - if we find someone to be invasive with their questions it certainly isn't likely to help. I don't feel like spending my money on it now so perhaps I have passed that stage of my life. I do wonder about that a lot a times

 

One thing that confused me was being told that the sorrow in my life, my heart, my mind etc made my chronic pain worse. I denied that and found one psychologist who helped - she retired at the beginning of COVID alas - which I understand. I have the feeling - as she confirmed - that my experience with pain is more valid that anything anyone can tell me. I have found during the anniversaries of my son's death that the pain in my body becomes less as the empty, hollow feeling in my heart overcomes it. Neither is worse - just something I have to live with

 

I didnd't mean to make this all about me - I think I have used my experiences to understand yours and I find the answer in the last paragraph - 

 

"that my experience with pain is more valid that anything anyone can tell me.

 

I know your experience of life is totally different to mine - it seems to me that your experience with your first psychiatrist has really damaged your interpretations of life and this is what it is and really upsetting - or worse - for you. It appears to you that life is made of winners and losers and the system sucks and this is valid for you. I don't think it's sound though but I really understand how it is for you and I accept that. It seems that you are always battling to keep your feet - and you are pretty strong - just always behind the 8-ball

 

I think I come back to this - if we really believe something to be true then it can be very hard to change our perception of that and perhaps we are right - who can really tell

 

I hope you can work this out - I truly do - I wish the best for you

 

And I hope this makes sense - first thing on Mondays - um - not my best time esp when I have been woken up by a lawn-mower - humph

 

Dec

Re: Much needed vent.

@Lost9 @Owlunar   Thank you for your replies.  I'm seething at the moment and my handyman has just arrived.  I will take time out to think of how to reply.

Re: Much needed vent.

@Lost9   I run the risk of repeating myself from earlier posts which is unfortunate, but like so many others, when something is unresolved, it is not that we are dwelling on it, but that it is too important to let go.

 

I have suffered Depression too, @Lost9, very deep, which left me without the will to live.  Not suicidal - but a total absence of vitality.  A black curtain over my life.  Dreadful.  I went through the motions of living when my family was around - did my chores, but could be found under a blanket the rest of the time.  My ex-psychiatrist treated and totally cured it because he understood it, and its cause, so when I hear about people who have never been cured despite ongoing treatment, it makes me angry.

 

Am I suggesting everybody should know such a cure?  Well, yes - I am.  Some may say I should not make such statements - but when it is true, it is irresponsible to allow it to not be said. 

 

Psychiatrists are all acting in accordance with their own (mis)understandings and the ingrained misconceptions taught to them.  Each thinks he knows it all and so there is no intelligent discussion between them to dispense with out-of-date ideas and treatments.  Even patients hold firmly to the belief that there is no cure because that is what they have been told.  By whom?  The psychiatrist holding the misconception.

 

How can anyone be correctly treated if psychiatrists just continue to do the same thing while others, doing it differently, are bringing about total cure?  And how can it be allowed to continue?

 

I will post this before it runs the risk of failing to post but I have more to say.

 

P.S.  I have been medication-free and symptom-free for over thirty years.

Re: Much needed vent.

As for hearing voices @Lost9, I will again stick my neck out to say something which only a few will grasp - or even begin to understand.  I don't talk in riddles or fantasies but have my feet planted firmly on the ground.  I speak from many years of experience and observation, and discussion with my ex-psychiatrist.

 

You 'hear voices'.  I experience telepathic communication with my ex-psychiatrist - as clearly as if it is my own thought - but it is clearly distinguishable as his messaging.  It is not malevolent as I have observed others' experiences of 'hearing voices', his messaging is always supportive, instructional, relevant and benevolent.  Even today - as we work through this breakdown of our relationship - he is still making sure I come to no harm.  We still maintain our telepathic connection and, because of it, I feel relatively safe.  None-the-less, it is extremely frightening and I now often fight against him as I am so confused by our alienation.  As you can see, our relationship was quite unique.  It will take a bit more time to come to terms with losing my dearest friend in such circumstances.

 

So, if a psychiatrist and patient can experience a clear telepathic connection - what is 'hearing voices'?  It is not in my nature to let this question go unresolved as it is too important to too many lives.  

 

I had always considered it to be deeply buried, unresolved past trauma endeavouring to be brought to consciousness.  These days I am questioning if it is a malevolent form of telepathy.  It requires deep, intelligent, well-considered discussion - but it can no longer be simply swept into the corner and explained away by long-held misconceptions - with a same-old, same-old attitude.

 

P.S.  I don't really expect any support for my last two posts.  That's the problem. 

 

No-one has the courage to align themselves with ideas which challenge and question the established understandings in case they, too, are tarred with the same brush.  Discussion goes nowhere.  Galileo had the same problem.  There is comfort in the established perceptions.  Ignorance is bliss.  I have no time for it.  

 

I am trained to question, question, question and align myself with those who do similarly, who are not afraid to challenge the 'established order'. 

 

Cheers. 

 

Re: Much needed vent.

@Historylover 

 

I'll support you because a)

This is your journey and it's up to you to tell your story, in the way that is most meaningful to you.  You're right, the profession does have its tall poppies (and I think some people who are rubber neckers more than helpers) and thanks god it is starting to change. 

 

and b)

Because it's been known that twins have a certain connection, so why can't those who have a similar traumatic experience have that connection... every time I have spoken about psychics, someone has popped up with an experience.. I just think we just have a stigma that it's not okay to talk about it.  

 

 

Re: Much needed vent.

@Historylover  I don't have a lot of time to respond right now - I will in a couple hours or so, but this post will have to be short.

 

I just read through your initial post and to say that it hit the nail on the head would be an understatement.

 

What I wouldn't give to be able to go back in time and tell my younger self to be far more guarded towards therapists - to not be so careless in blurting out truths you would never tell a complete stranger, or even a friend who was not bound by the laws of doctor-patient privelage.

 

It's such a disaster arming these smiling abusers with all the ammunition they need to control you - to show them all your vulnerabilities and dreams. But you do it in desparation and gullibile trust in the message that's been peddled to you ad nauseum: that therapists exist solely to help you get to a life that's worth living.

 

Thank you so much for stating these glaring truths that, sadly, can only be learned the hard way in this day and age. Smiley Happy

 

The powers that be really need to hear more voices like yours. Maybe they won't act on your grievances, but at least you would undermine their ability to claim "plausable deniability".

 

I have to go now. I haven't had time to read any of your longer subsequent posts yet; but I just needed to say "thanks" for that original gem you wrote. Smiley Very Happy

Re: Much needed vent.

Hi @Historylover I am older like you and have been right through the psychiatric system and also having had relatives both blood-related and in-laws as mental health personnel.

 

I just have a detachment from it now despite my first hand negative experiences but also recognise there are good clinicians out there that don't probe into your business unnecessarily and are not in the business of dispensing ludicrous labels.

 

But I guess they are human in many respects and have their shortcomings but I've also had the good fortune of meeting some excellent clinicians who live by ethical standards.  

 

Many of them have to pay off a mortgage and raise families so their practice also serves that economic purpose.

 

But I wonder how inconvenienced they are by those they are compelled to treat through a relationship of binding contractual agreement and not a sliver of genuine caring.

 

My last psychiatrist was lovely but after that stopped seeing them as I was able to live independently of a shrink.

 

I find myself back at a new shrink 12 years later to manage my meds.  I figured I did not want to be a burden on the public purse in the past but now have seen the rapid emergence of corporatised medicine.

 

So its a bit of a conundrum. I guess what we need is some measure of compassion, caring and affinity?

 

I don't see it forthcoming unless people are fully aligned with their reason for being and therefore can genuinely dispense kindness than a stack of pills!

Re: Much needed vent.

Hi @Historylover,

I'm glad therapy and medication worked for you. When I was a teenager I was suicidal. But with age I have learnt to handle depression. I found some medication that took me out of the black hole I was in but it took many years to find it. It wasn't until a new family of medication that became available could I find relief but unfortunately my body became too used to it so it took stronger and stronger doses of medication until the psychiatrist said I could take no more. So I have found other ways of dealing with it such as using these forums. I also have schizophrenia which is only partially controlled. The combination prevents me from working. I have tried just about all the antipsychotics there are. I just have to wait until a new type comes on the market. There are other means of dealing with it such as those who successfully live with voices but they advocate trying to get along with their voices. Mine have been malicious, giving me false information and trying to trip me up. Lately they haven't been so bad but I can't afford to trust them so I'm sceptical that the new methods will work for me. I would love to be able to take no medication but I think I would get into a bigger mess if I did and my psychiatrist, I think, wouldn't advise it. However, I'm coping. I just get hurt when people call me a bum and are intolerant of my situation. Thanks for venting though. It is good to let out our frustrations.

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