Lived Experience Forum

[Feathers]

How many other people who live with depression and or other mental illnesses have friends or family believe depression isnt a real illness and you can choose anytime you want to not be depressed? 

[outlander]

hi @Feathers and welcome
i am surrounded by people who know about mental health issues however when it comes to me it doesnt exist. for anyone else they are very accepting of it but for me im faking it and i have nothing to be depressed about and should snap out of it. i have learnt very well how to keep a happy everythings ok mask on.

is this something your struggling with as well?

[Former-Member]

My sister married a doctor and hangs off his every word. Unfortunately he believes mental illness is 'a choice' and even dislikes antidepressants. I've sat through all the lectures an books chucked at me. Its a bit like dieting - sometimes I loose heaps of weight, but I always break that diet. Put weight back on... feel like a lower. No, why would we chose this? 

I grew tired of my sister's judgements, and putdowns, and back stabbing, always hiding behind hubby dearest. Its emotional abuse, bullying and I still miss her terribly

Some say there's always a payoff, and I must say, my dad covered for mum so much, even when her MI  was cruel,  vindictive,  gloating "see, he loves me more than you" No I don't think she'd choose to  have her personality disorders and mood swings if she really knew the harm she inflicted on her children (we all struggled academically,. to this day all 6 of us struggle to hold down relationships, jobs, and or have dependency disorders of some kind, all scattered / estranged from each other). So lonely, in so much pain. Who would choose this shame?

I have two bros with paranoid delusional disorders / diagnosed psychosis, schizophrenia... One on CTO injections. Who would CHOOSE this? They are lonely, cry a lot. they turn on everyone who gets close to them - eventually seeing everyone as part of the system that's manipulating the world to do them in 😟😞 I was shocked when labelled a 'witch' / 'demi God'... for not publically supporting the delusions.  Even the most subtle suggestion that they see things a different triggers them ☹️. Its just so hard to keep being around 

the abuse. Then I feel guilty (and more lonely) because I have had to 'distance' myself 😢) 

Who would choose all this?

I've struggled with Depression, anxiety, PTSD all my life, and ashamed of my suicide attempts. And there's nothing left for me but to become a recluse and die. 

Whoo would CHOOSE this?

[Sylvester]

I am sorry you are feeling this way @Former-Member it must be very hard for you that your sister does not understand and yes you must miss her.  Do you feel the need to talk to someone tonight, perhaps on Lifeline? 

Sylvester 

SANE Moderator 

[Former-Member]

No @Sylvester, not much point. But thanks 💙

[Former-Member]

Hi @Feathers ,

I understand this so much. So often I get comments like 'depression is just an excuse people use to be lazy', 'maybe if you tried more you wouldn't be depressed', ' if you just have to stop being sad and get over it' and 'I've seen you smile people with depression don't smile these are just a few.

I've also had someone call docs on me after telling them about my mental health because people with mental health issues abuse their children apparently. 

I mean the amount of times my mother in Law has told me that I am a mother and a partner you don't have time to be depressed you have a home to keep in order is so annoying 

[chibam]

I would never say it doesn't exist, or that it isn't a real illness - I've heard more then enough testimony from sufferers to be convinced that it does indeed exist.

That being said, I do believe that it is woefully over-diagnosed in our currant society, and that a majority of the supposed cases of "mental illness" depression are cases of people being unhappy with their inadequate lives. And for that reason, I have huge concerns about the frequency of depression being labelled an illness, because that label is very often a lie and it has lead to countless new problems as a result.

The all-too common belief that someone who has a shitty life must have an illness because they are chronically depressed about having such a shitty life has lead to the widespread abuse of perfectly health brains, and the horrendous neglect of real problems that needed immediate correction. All too often in the news, you hear stories of people who have died, and learn enough of the associated circumstances to see that there is no noteworthy evidance that there was anything wrong with them; but there is abundant evidance that there was something dreadfully wrong with what they were going through! It was their lives that needed to be cured, not their brains! Such situations can hardly be classified as illnesses, yet classifying them as illnesses is what our society tends to do these days.

So I would never deny in absolute terms that depression - as an illness - exists in the world. But I would always suggest that individual cases of "depression" need to be well scrutinized. Does the sufferer really have an illness that needs to be treated? Or do they have a terrible life that they need others' help to rectify?

IMHO, we aren't asking that question nearly enough. We are just blindly accepting the powers that be's proclaimations that these people have an illness.