Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[CherryBomb]

Did you know that RUOK day is on this Thursday?

In my experience, these three words can be so powerful. Hearing it can make me feel noticed and not alone, To say it to others can clear the air, provide an opportunity to get things off someone's chest, and help people check in. It's an important conversation to be had, that all to often can be left unsaid.

If you sense something is not quite right with someone, would you ask them, 'R U OK? What would hold your back from asking? What do you do if someone says their not okay? What would you like someone to do for you in that position? 

Let's get this conversation going... 

[JT]

I think the most important thing to remember is that it is asking RUOK and not just saying it because someone said you should, and when you ask you need to be ready to listen.  Since this day was started I've heard so many people just going around asking their workmates in quick succession only to finish with got that out of the way now I can get on with my day.  Kind of defeats the purpose lol.  Or worse, mass email to everyone.  

Anyway to answer the question; if someone asked me and I said not really I would like for people not to ask if I had a hard night, if the kids are giving me grief, throw a 'oh you think your day's bad' back at me or when's my next appointment with the psych.  I would like them to ask have you got time to grab a coffee then take a few minutes to chat.  I'd like to know that someone has got a little bit of time to give me.  

For someone else, I'd do all of the above.  Most importantly I'd listen.  What I'd do next would depend on what they have to say but there's a plethora or places to refer to.  

[Alessandra1992]

JT, you have nailed it again! It is so important to not trivialise this day by making it a task of o get over and done with. The thinking around this day could have some rejigging..like 3 weeks to go and what r u going to say if someone isn't OK? And creating that space to have the time to sit with each other..otherwise it might become a "she" ll be apples, no worries, you"ll be OK..." It is or really important to think about what would you say if you were not OK?

But I do like the concept of at least starting the conversation...

[Hobbit]

Dear everyone,

I thought I would just add something that happened to me today. I got very stressed a little while ago and felt I was getting close to a nervous breakdown of sorts, I had to re-evaluate myself and my life a bit.

My main lesson was to take it a bit easier in life and on myself.

I run a group for people at risk of homelessness, and i thought about this lesson, and therefore having this weekend off. So I called one of my volunteers to say this, I had a script all prepared, was expecting a not so great response, and before i even started, the person simply stopped me and asked "are you OK?" It just diffused the whole situation for me, we actually had a wonderful little talk, and I feel I can now have some time off and not feel guilty about it.

There is such power in those 3 little words. RUOK? 

I just thought I'd share that!!

Hobbit.

[vmainard40]

They say in their promations that asking someone these three word are you ok? can save a life and I know from personal experince it does. I have asked my brother this so many times and he told me it has really helped him with thoughts of sucide. I am not only prepraded to ask the question I am als preparded for the answer to be no. I will sit with him for hours if need be and go to work tired the next day to know that my brother is ok.