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supermum
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please help!

I have just recently become my mother in-laws carer 3 months ago. It has been a really big change in life as I became a mum a year ago and have only just gotten used to being a mother and have taken on the role of not only caring for my mother in law and her 8 year old daughter. I do everything! Get b (the 8 yr old) up and ready for school, take her and pick her up from school, do all the cooking, cleaning, Washing. I make sure B does her homework and chores. I make sure my caree showers, eats, takes her medication 4 times a day. I drive her to all her doc, specialist, centerlink and other appointments daily. Then I have to find time to be a mum and partner! I am feeling very down and feel like I am just not good enough!! It is causing problems between my partner and I as I am just so tired all the time! I no longer have time for myself, my friends or even my own family! I don't have time to be the mother I want to be as my day is filled with errands and cleaning for someone else. My caree feels that It is my responsibility to pay for all the fuel to do all this running around. Most weeks we pay for most of the food and cigarettes for my mother in law. We pay for her appointments costing hundreds of dollars and her day to day needs as she has been rejected for dsp. As much as I love her I am feeling like we are being taken advantage of and I really don't know how much more stress I can Handel. I am trying my best but getting yelled at for things that I don't feel are my responsibility Is getting to me. We are starting a family of our own and I'm now thinking about where the next carton of milk is coming from for bub because I have taken on such a huge role for supplying a life for 2 other people. I knew is was going to be hard but paying for everything on top is really taking its toll and my family and relationship. Please help!!
4 REPLIES 4

Re: please help!

Dear Supermum,   You really are juggling a heck of a lot of balls at the moment and it is entirely understandable that you are feeling the strain - especially having a one year old to care for as well. You sound a very caring person - and I really feel for you Supermum.  Hugs !

If difficulties are occurring in your relationship with your husband though, maybe it is time you sought some advice from a Counsellor to help you navigate this tricky family situation before you get to "burn-out" yourself.

There could be help available that you are not aware of and a GP or Counsellor may be able to steer you in the direction of some help that will take some of the load off your shoulders.

 

All best wishes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Re: please help!

Hi Supermum,

My name is Hobbit. I read your post and it amazes me just how busy you are, and how you have managed to keep everything together!! This actually shows me three things - 1) you must be a very special and caring type of person, 2) you must have amazing strength and 3) you are switched on enough to ask for help by coming to forums such as this.

So good on you!!

I thought what you really might need is someone to help take the load off you. There is such a thing as a carer support worker that might be able to help you out. This i see could be a really practical way of lessening the burden for you. I know a carer's job is a full on role, and you really do have a lot on your plate, caring for 2 people plus your own family....and let's not forget trying to care for yourself!!

Perhaps you could try contacting these two organisations. Carers QLD and ARAFMI QLD. They are both really good organisations that support carers and I am sure they could help you out.

Carer QLD website is here and ARAFMI QLD can be found here

I hope this might help you, and please be in touch to let everyone know how you are going.

Hobbit.

Re: please help!

That's too much for you. You should be enjoying your own baby. Your mother in law needs a mental health social worker or nurse to take over your role. Ask her treating dr to refer her to the appropriate support agency or contact ARAFMI. Good luck.

Re: please help!

Hi Supermum,

Haven't heard from you in a while. How's things? Were you able to contact the resources listed in my above post?

Let us know how you are goin.

Best Wishes

Hobbit.

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