Lived Experience Forum

[Serenity1]

Today my adult son who has been manipulated @& brainwashed against me his entire life by my narcissitic mother ( who's died) & her very evil narcissitic husband-& his absent father & his toxic family- told me he wished I had died instead of my mother- it would have made everyone's life better including my own- that my mother was more of a mother to him than I was- he absolutely hates me & wishes I was dead- & so so much more hurtful & disgusting things-I just feel like giving up-his perception of reality is so skewed from other toxic people's influence he can't even see reality for what it is/was - I then had to go visit my lifelong abusive father in hospital which was very triggering for me as he does not speak up to the nurses he gets aggressive & expects them to read his mind - he was also being very rasist to the nurses when they weren't in the room which just makes me feel sick- watch my beautiful daughter care for him & look after him without being asked to the best of her ability at 7 years old & with an open heart & he was getting so angry because he is in pain & frustrated & taking it out on her & me & triggering me from my childhood- I don't know how I am supposed to help & support him when he gets out of hospital when I have agoraphobia & can barely take care of my daughter & myself & he has no one else so it is left to me- he has not had any at home care for over 20years after a stroke because the nurse assessing his living arrangements said he wasn't in need enough & there are worse ppl off than him- so his house is an absolute nightmare & so dangerous, unclean& he has become a horder-this is all going to be left to me to sort out?I live over an hour away it just seems completely impossible & I just don't want to deal with this reality anymore - I don't know who to talk to about this to get support/ help in place for him when he gets out because I can't realistically do it - it just won't work- 

[greenpea]

@Serenity1Hi Jojo7 I am so sorry that you are going through this with your family most of all with your son. The pain his words must have caused you .... no mother should hear that from their child. As for your father personally if it were me I would be contacting contract cleaners and getting them in to clean the place up (that means throwing things out and being ruthless about it) leaving only the bare necessities. It will cost but will be worth it you don't need to be there doing all the hard work yourself. Personally I would be contacting your family and demanding help for your father and stating that you will not be doing it all by yourself any more and then stepping away.

Now back to your son. If it were me I would be giving him loads of space with the hope that in the future he will come back like the prodigal son. Make sure he always knows you will be there for him if he needs you but you must protect yourself Jojo7 from these verbal attacks.

Jeez I hope this all helps. Again I am so sorry you are going through this as you don't deserve all this. Wishing you all the best. greenpea xxx

[Appleblossom]

Would he be eligible for help under MY AGED CARE.

It sounds too much to expect you to do it all.

@Serenity1 Keeping your daughter and you well is top priority.

[Serenity1]

Thanks so much for your reply & support- I am not up to replying properly at the moment as it is still so raw & really overwhelming me- but I will try when I am feeling better- I really appreciate your kindness & advice, thankyou @greenpea 💖💖💖

[Serenity1]

@Appleblossom - i would think so- thanks so much for your comments & support 💖💖💖

[greenpea]

@Serenity1 xx