Lived Experience Forum

[2qwerty]

I know how to do a task at work. 

I can do the task. 

I know what I need to check, steps, but somehow, every time, I get overwhelmed along the way. 

It's like my brain just decides to not "let" me see certain things, to push the process along. 

Example: I need to prepare an email that says a client owes money. 

I check system A for the total of 100 bucks. 

I check system B for the total of 100 bucks. 

I prepare the email.

I check the email.  

I send the email. 

I recieve an email back from the client. 

WHY DO I OWE a THOUSAND DOLLARS. YOU TOLD ME IT WAS A HUNDRED. 

I check system B. It says a variance. The client officially owes 1000. 

Where did I read a hundred? ...I didn't. It wasn't there. 

I can't trust my own eyes. I don't see the right names, it's like my brain makes up a lie about whats there, I think I have matched totals on a screen when I haven't. I see a name, but it's not right. I stop, staring longer at the information...open to more error because I can't remember what STEP i was even up to. 

I go faster, missing information, misreading it, not realising its different. 

I stop knowing I have HUNDREDS of things, repedetive tasks, to do....no time to finish, and absolutely no TRUST i can do it properly. My mind throwing procedure out, seeing things that aren't there, not knowing whats next, despite my doing this thousands of times in my life. 

I stare at things...and see something that is there, not there, maybe there. 

I don't know what is real. 

Am I reading this number, or am I not? I recite names, numbers, I check, it's fine. 

Until I start to move and get things done, then I get an email back, YOU DIDN'T CONFIRM THIS WITH THE TEAM MEMBER. Oh. I didn't. You're right. 

Nobody is perfect, but I can't get this done fast enough, OR accurately enough. 

I'm at a loss. 

How do other people have jobs and do it all...I'm about to give up. 

I can't do this anymore. 

[Appleblossom]

@2qwerty 

There are so many micro skills in any job.  Sometimes it is exhaustion. Sometimes the expectations of speed are too high and cause mistakes.

Some people are more suited to different activities.  All we can do is try our best, but sometimes it can be aboutfinding a good fit ... in the job.

Take Care

[Bezak482]

@2qwerty I found the same sort of problem arising in my past job - making mistakes despite caring about the quality of my work and trying to do my best. My psychiatrist says I am 100% competent however I'm not so sure. Thinking about getting assessed by neuropsych but I hear its expensive. ?Side effect of meds? Maybe you and I are hypersensitive to our own mistakes though. Perhaps everyone makes em, we just are more self-aware?

[Former-Member]

Hi @2qwerty .

We all make mistakes, it's part of being human. I'm sure the job is stressful and others make mistakes too, the same or different ones. Mistakes are normal, and they don't define you. It's okay to make mistakes. Take care.