Lived Experience Forum

[Mulgajane]

I fall to pieces when my lover has the shits with me. Why? I cannot bare to be disliked and if someone should think I have done something wrong when I have not, it's like I have been accused of treason. I am too sensitive.

Then, when the worry and the fear sets in I make myself ill.

I understand that there is an element of childhood trauma. I also believe there is some previous relationship trauma there. I am even tossing around the idea that we carry the trauma of our ancestors. Okay, so how do i deal with it?

Anybody have any ideas?

[BlueBay]

Hi @Mulgajane

I’m very sensitive. To the point of crying st everything. I’ve always been like this but a lot worse since my childhood trauma came out and having depression and going through menopause. 

When things go wrong st work or home I blame myself and am really hard on myself. I get sngry st myself and then want to punish myself. 

If somrone says something to me that they think isn’t right I take it 100% personally get upset and then worry and stress about it the whole day. 

Im super sensitive I think because of my childhood trauma and being hyper vigilant all the time 

[comingup18]

Guys, I'm sensitive also but I have learned to not let it get

to me so much as I have gotten older.  Life is to short to be

stressed over none sense.  So, now I just don't allow it to

bother me as much.  It's like you wake up one day and just

say enough is enough and I'm not doing this any more. 

[Mulgajane]

Thanks @BlueBay and @comingup18

You make me lugh in a good way comingup18, I will try your suggestion 🙂

BluBay I understand your agony. What a struggle it is to be insecure. My plan of attack at the moment i think is to build up my security. I have noticed that I don't balance out the attacks on myself with any congratulations for all the good stuff I do. Now i have to owrk how to remind myself to do that.

[BlueBay]

Omg @Mulgajane I don’t congratulate myself either. Snd if someone says something like “you have a nice outfit on today” or “you look nice” I instantly negate it. 

Its like I don’t believe I should be noticed. 

I need to build up my security my self worth and self love. 

Hope you have a nice day ❤️😊

[eudemonism]

Hi @Mulgajane

I'm also rather sensitive when it comes to my social standing with friends and family. (also community - but that different story) I think it's because I realize that they are my main source of support & what I need most in life. I'm dependant on them for my health, happiness and safety and so many other important things. So when I feel ostracized from them. I experience social anxiety. And I think why?

Eude

[Mulgajane]

Interesting point @eudemonism

My reaction is as if my life is threatened and to be cut off from my social group amounts to the same thing biologically. Have I lost my ability to reason that I'll still be looked after if I cut one bridge? 

Sometimes I think love is the only thing worth living for and I don't mean that in a sad way. I mean that everything is love. Caring, apreciating, seeing the beauty in everything - it's all love. It's like i am a great big salt shaker of love and I am desperately trying to season everything!

We can season ourselves @BlueBay 🙂

[eudemonism]

@Mulgajaneperhaps it's your conscience interpreting your wrongs against your lover (person in question) and you're wondering how to make it right...

Perhaps you've sensed dislike from your lover (person in question) for something you've done which they perceived as wrong. And then they committed words or deeds which gave you the sense of dislike. (something was wrong) Which lead you to begin questioning? And feeling jeopardized and insecure?

It's a typical everyday scenario we are all faced with. And I know I myself am super sensitive to it. I myself have been caught up in a prime example of this scenario with the mental health system. And I myself have been desperately trying to get out of it.

In all honesty. What mortal being has the right. To hold the interpretation of right and wrong over another human being. Which they do for their own benefits. And which comes at the cost of another beings life being either made into a hellish like scenario or heavenly like story. All because of prejudices? - the knee jerk reaction is to fight against it or go along with it. 
Eude the writer