Lived Experience Forum

[Peri]

Thank you @Appleblossom 

@knowing that others struggle with their children is a help.  My son is not a child he is a man with a daughter.  He lives with me, but I am beginning to think that he hates me and resents me for stuff that went on in childhood and I cannot change that noe and did I what I thought was right at the time.  I don’t know how long I can live like this. I don’t want a complete falling out with him. I love him, but he is wearing me down. He knows best about everything and even is he is right, does it mean that I have to live the way he wants me to?  I am so sad and low about this. As I see the rest of my life stuck in this situation with no respite

[Appleblossom]

Have you talked about age related appropriateness in behaviour as distinct from love.  Yes love can be unconditional, but at certain ages people need different things and even provocations to grow up. Taking people for granted is never helpful, as it messes with the soul of the person who is doing the taking for granted and they may not realise til too late.

Hugs @Peri 

I did witness my brother's relationship deteriorate with my mother, but at first he was a superb son with the best of intentions.

Take Care of you to take care of your following generations.  I was always wary about getting in the way between generations, though maybe sometimes its needed.  

I am having to make new arrangements in my son and my living situation.  Fingers Crossed it works out. for me ... and for you ....

[Peri]

Thank you for responding, all thoughts are welcome

[Shaz51]

Lots of hugs my @Peri  xx xxxx 

[Peri]

Thanks to those who have supported my posts.  

To @Shaz51 and @Appleblossom , I am pleased to say , for the time being at least, things with my son have improved quite a bit.  I try to understand where he is coming from and he offers a lot of support in many ways.  Ah life eh.  

On other matters, I am still feeling really low.  I know I have to change somethings but don’t have the strength or energy. And I don’t know how to shift out of this current position. I feel terribly sad and lonely.  I am not normally given to loneliness but recently I feel it.  

I have so much to do in this house I am now living in but really don’t give a ...... and don’t know how to start. 

Any suggestions on changing this mindset would be gratefully received.  

Peri

[Former-Member]

Hi @Peri .. I was literally just thinking of you. 😀

Sitting at Sydney airport waiting for flight to Perth. ✈

Great to hear things have improved with you and your son.

I will have to get back to you on the rest, boarding shortly.

Sherry 💕

[Shaz51]

Great to hear things have improved with you and your son. @Peri 

the suggestion I have @Peri , is what i am trying to do

Is not look at all the things that need doing -- that overwhelmes me and i end up doing nothing xx

I think and i am trying to do one thing at a time and then saying " i did it " even if it is one thing you did for the day

one step at a time my friend

hello @Appleblossom , @Faith-and-Hope , @Gazza75 

safe travels @Former-Member xxxx

[Faith-and-Hope]

That’s my tack too @Peri .... doing one single thing, no matter how tiny, and forgetting rest until that one thing is done, then considering another one.

Making your bed might seem like a nothing thing to do, but my mother taught me that making the bed and clearing the sink has the house half-way tidy.  Throwing a load of washing on is usually step no. 3. And it can dry thrown over the line or draped over chairs ....  whatever works and ticks a box.

[Faith-and-Hope]

And then go out for coffee, even if that is stepping outside with your coffee cup in your hand.  Get yourself out of the house.

@Peri