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Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Dear @Former-Member ,

thank you so much for your thoughtful post.   

I am sorry if I have made you feel as if I don’t value your support. I certainly do. I hadn’t thought that I was responding to many people at all and felt bad about it.

you have done nothing to offend me at all.   

My fall was quite bad, I had a badly bruised eye and face and a cut on my brow and hurt my tight elbow and knee.  All is recovering now.  These falls are quite spontaneous.  I get vertigo.  

I am going to work on my cv this week and look for some part time work.  I am sure this will help, but I am anxious about it.  

My doggies are fine, but need to go to a groomer they are rather scruffy.  They will get a bath this weekend.  My son and I , well it is so complicated.  He of course is of an age where he should be off on his own , but life has not sorted out for him that way and I cannot just tell him to go.  He is mine.  

I am settling in to this new place, but still feel a sense of loss for my home and all that went with it. 

Thank you for voicing your concerns as I can only reassure you that I appreciate your friendship and support.  

It is a lovely day here today, so I will later take the dogs for a walk and try to enjoy the fresh air and bid song. 

I hope you are doing ok, I will post on your thread

your friend, peri

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Hi dear @Peri  🤗💜

 

I was so relieved to hear from you, I really had thought I may have said something to upset you.  Good to know I havent.

 

Gosh it does sound like the fall was quite bad .. you poor thing.  Vertigo is not easy to live with is it.  My husband has Migraine Associated Vertigo, and it can cause a lot of issues. Interestingly he doesnt get the migraines as such, but his vertigo can be quite bad.  With MAV you often dont get migraine. I dont get vertigo, but I do get dizziness from low blood pressure sometimes, and it can be quite scary.  My husband used to take medication for his .. it was a type of anti-convulsion medication if I recall correctly. And also one of his antidepressants are helpful in treating it, which he remains on.

 

Good on you for working on your CV in order to look for some form of part time work. I wish you every success and hope something suitable comes up soon. I have every confidence that it will go a long way in helping you out of this current depressive low you're in.  Yes of course you will be anxious about it all ... it is a big step.  But a good one to take.

 

Have your doggies had their bath yet?  Holly does not like her baths, but will suffer them when she knows there is a special treat in store upon completion of the ordeal.  She is the same with getting her nails trimmed.  Which incidentally she needs done now ... when hubby is finally up and out of bed, I will get onto that.  I need him to hold her while I trim. That way she is still and I know I'm not going to hurt her.  She knows she can get away if its just me on my own. The little devil.  You mentioned that yesterday was a beautiful day where you are.  My husbands family all live in The West and they too mentioned that the weather has been nice.  Did you end up getting out for a walk with your dogs?  Where you live now, are there nice places to walk safely with your dogs, perhaps even a nearby off-leash dog park?

 

The situation with your son does sound complicated, and clearly you do not wish to elaborate further on that.  I'm sorry to hear that life has not worked out the way he'd have liked or anyone would have expected.  It would be difficult for him too no doubt, feeling a reliance on you, and also having care of his daughter as well.  Of course you cannot tell him to go, you obviously love him and want the best for him and your granddaughter.  I feel sure you will be gently offering the occasional suggestion about him becoming more independent and finding a place of his own to move into, and providing the support he needs in the process.  Perhaps in time .. he will find his feet and move into a place of his own to live independently again.

 

Thank you for your reassurances Peri, I do appreciate that.  I value your friendship and support too .. very much so.  I can always rely on you to tell it as it is, to be honest and up front.  You are always practical and to the point .. I like that.  Dare I say you are ... somewhat blunt?  I have actually been told (irl) that I can be blunt sometimes.  Personally I dont see it, I figure I'm just being honest. By definition, being blunt is a mixture of confidence in what you're saying and consideration of the person to whom you are speaking. Being blunt is being unafraid to say something, whilst remaining mindful of how the other person will feel.  I see nothing wrong with that.

 

I'm glad to hear that you are slowly settling into your new home.  Its taking a while I know, and your sense of loss for what you used to have, is very real. I'm hoping that by securing some employment, this will also help.  If you are unable to find paid employment, will you consider voluntary work do you think?  Sometimes that can lead to paid employment as openings come up.  Worth thinking about.

 

Thanks for your post to my thread too Peri, its very much appreciated.  I will respond to you, and everyone else, there later today I hope.  Although I may wait until after my apt with my GP tomorrow afternoon. Not looking forward to that.

 

I hope today is a good day for you Peri.  I will talk again soon.

 

Sherry 💕

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Dear@sherry,

 I am glad I reassured you, but blunt, dear me I shall have to watch that.  Maybe that is why some people don’t respond to me.  I don’t see what some people see as problems at all, or as being mental health issues. I read one thread, not on this forum, and it seems all the lady wants is a man friend, then she gets one and he is perfect, but she still finds things to be unhappy about,  that is just life to me.

no I haven’t bathed the doggies,today could be the day. But I am going to do a major tidy up .  I am bothered by the blunt, even though you describe it quite nice.y. I shall have to watch myself.  I know I am not one of those who want to mollycoddle people, well not all people.  But I like to think I feel close to you

peri

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Awww @Peri  ... I am so sorry I now have you bothered you by saying that your style can be on the blunt side.  I actually see it as a good way to be, an asset in fact ... to be able to say things as they are.  I certainly did not intend for you to take it as a criticism or something you need to tone down.  I really would not like to see you change your style at all. 😊

 

I dont know why some people respond to posts, and others dont.  It probably very much depends on the person I guess.  And also what they are really wanting.  Do they want serious sensible advice?   When you respond to posts, I notice that you always provide that.  Or do they just want to be listened to and, as you say, mollycoddled to some extent?  I think a lot of people are genuinely lonely, so as much as anything they just want someone to talk to and to know someone is listening and will respond in kind. Perhaps they dont want genuinely helpful advice about how they may be able to fix things in their life which are not currently working for them. Instigating change in our lives is a difficult process.  For many, and I put myself in this category, we seek understanding and want advice. We want change and we want life to be better, but some aspects of our lives hold us back from being able to heed all advice given.  No matter how sound that advice may be. Hope this makes some sense?

 

Yes it is still early in the West, so plenty of time yet to get those dogs bathed.  A major tidy up?  I hope thats successful.  I am getting dinner ready currently and just spotted your post .. thought I needed to clarify asap.  Anyway its almost 6pm here and back to getting dinner done now.  Roasting a chook and roast veges plus steamed broccolini.

 

Yes I guess you must feel a certain closeness to me, as you made the effort to track me down here. Which I have to say, I very much appreciate. Thats really nice of you to say though .. so thank you.  I dont really know if you are into hugs?  Some people are very reserved about such things.  Certainly I used to be, as my family are very much non demonstrative and thats how I grew up. I have changed over the latter years however, and now I actually love a nice hug.  It is a very emotional thing.  So ... sending you a big hug across this vast nation. 

 

Sherry 💕  🤗

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Roasting a chook and roast veges plus steamed broccolini.--- yummmm @Former-Member  can i come tooo Smiley Very Happy

@Peri, you keep doing what style you are doing my friend xxx

with me I find it hard to write down whatI am saying in my mind

@Perihave you have any furbabies

Hello @Starta , @BryanaCamp , @Caerulean 

 

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Hi @Shaz51 @Former-Member ,

i am having a wakeful night.  Sleep just won’t come and my head won’t turn off. I upset one of my sisters today. I didn’t mean to but it has annoyed me. I dont regret what I said , but it is on my mind. I just want sleep to wash over me but it is not happening

peri

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Hi @Peri  Really sorry to hear that my friend. I feel sure things can be resolved with your sistetr. Yeah its so hard to switch off the mind when it continually churns through stuff. Can you try to channel your thoughts towards something a bit less concerning? Have you ever tried to , for example, name an animal starting with A (ant) and then work your way through the alphabet to Z (zebra)? Or you could try plant names, town names or peoples names, depending on your preference. Give it a try 

 

Yes .. Im lying awake here too. 😐

 

Hope you nod off soon. Talk later today.

 

Sherry 😴

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Hi @Shaz51 ,

yes I have two dogs.  Well three really.   One belongs to my son and she is a stuffy and very lovely .my dogs are both poodle crosses.  Kaos and phoebe.  Kaos is crossed with a shitzu and phoebe a Pomeranian. So they are both small and quite scruffy at the moment.  They are very sweet and I love them.

Peri

 

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Hi dear @Peri 

 

Your assortment of dogs sound adorable.  Are all three of them inside dogs?  

 

Peri - you know I value you as a friend, dont you?  I hope you also know I very much value your advice and support.

I read what you said on the other forum you're involved in, and its clear that you are more hurt and upset by my comments here than what you have let on here.  It upsets me that I have hurt you without ever having any intention of doing so. Perhaps I am being a little insensitive to others needs and sensibilities right now.  Its true that I have been struggling a lot personally, but thats no excuse for inadvertently doing damage to anyone, least of all to you ... someone I care a great deal for. I know I'm not much help to anybody else right now Peri, I'm barely getting myself and my husband through each day. So I think, for everyones sake, I need to back away for a while and get myself through this difficult period on my own for now. I will return when I am in a better mind space.  Please accept my most heartfelt apology Peri, I am truly sorry.  Please take care and I hope you will stick around here because, other than me, the people are great. @Shaz51  @Starta 

 

Sherry 😢 🌸 💕

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Dear @Former-Member 

please don’t be upset,  I was not hurt by it. And I have learnt not to cross forums, silly me.

i probably am blunt I just say things as I see it.  I try to be careful here because no one knows all of anyone else’s story.

 

please take a break if you need one and from what is going on in your life you probably do.  But not because of me.  You have nothing to apologise for.   I value your friendship very much.

peri

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