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Re: To hospital or not to hospital

Hi again @Former-Member ,

Thanks for taking the time to answer all my questions. 

I am having a rly hard time with meds, everything they try seems to make me worse and i am at my wits end. Everyday is torture. I dont think they know what to do with me nemore. Its good that u trust ur pdoc, i cant say i do bcoz of all the struggles iv had. I guess its the meds i dont trust, pdoc is trying his best but i just seem to react to everything.

 

"Im  scared at how torturous its going to b to get of these meds. Was it rly hard? Torturous? " It was hard, I was going off more than one medication. It wasn't torturous and being in hospital for the final taper / starting new meds was the right decision for me." In glad it wasnt torturous for u - thats what im rly scared of. Hopefully it wont b for me either!

 

"The meds they gave u to help, did they help a lot or just a little?" The meds I have been on before worked for how I was feeling at the time, but needed to be adjusted or changed. I am now on several medication, but sometimes they still get adjusted or changed." As i mentioned, they dont seem to b able to find any meds that suit me, thats one of the reasons im so scared of going to hospital - what if they keep trying and trying and i keep getting worse? 

 

Im rly glad that ur admissions hav bn beneficial for u and that u hav continued to make progress.

 

Thank u for ur hope for me - i hope that too. I rly hope they r able to find a med/med combination that works for me and doesnt make me worse. Hopefully the psychologist will b helpful even without the emdr as i am heading in the direction of not doing it, but havnt fully decided.

Thanks again for ur encouragement and support @Former-Member , it rly is very much appreciated.

Doglover 💛

Re: To hospital or not to hospital

@Doglover .

Most of my hospital stays have been 28 days.  Some 2 weeks. 

I always go to a Private Psychiatric Hospital,  not to a public hospital.  So I've never seen anyone held down and injected with medication.  If someone is that sick,  they get transported to the public psych system. 

It would be interesting to find out what you are reacting to.  What chemical or drug or preservative,  etc.  It would make it a lot safer for you too. 

If you are going private,  be sure that your psychiatrist will visit you every week day.  That way if there is a problem with a medication,  it will be sorted out within a day.

If you are going public,  I can't really help you with that.  Other than say you won't be seen daily by your psychiatrist,  they do force the medication on you. and you will only have a short stay.  Just until the crisis is over,  but not til you're feeling better. 

Re: To hospital or not to hospital

Hi @utopia , thank u for ur response again and for answering my queries. Im rly hoping if i hav to go to hospital that i can hold out til my insurance kicks in so i can go private. Thats if theyl accept me! I think i wld b considered a 'problem patient' so they may not! 

Yes i wish i cld find out what im reacting to but thr is no way of finding out. U can get testing to see if the drug itself will suit u, but not the excipients. I react to every medication i try so i know its one or more of the excipients. Iv had the same problem in the past with medications long before i developed MI. But the medical profession just thing its all in my head. I hav even tried compounded meds but they still hav excipients so that didnt work for me either. 

Thanks for advise re making sure psych wld consult with me each day, i wldnt hav thought to ask that.

Thanks again for ur support @utopia , i rly appreciate it!

Re: To hospital or not to hospital

Hey @Doglover , just checking in with you here rather than on your other thread.  I hope you have been able to digest most of the information and help  you have been getting over there.  At least you have a little bit of time to try and digest it and ask any questions that come to mind. 

 

It's been pretty heartwarming to see everyone supporting you through this challenging time.  I know its been diffucult for you, but, each day you are getting closer to hospital and hopefully to some answers. 

 

I'd maybe give a little thought to what your going to do after hospital, and also worst case if you don't get all of the answers you want.  Ask about outpatient care, that was one part of the public system I have been disapointed with.  I had one 'check in' at a health department and was given a card for lifeline and sent on my way.  It would have been nice to have someone regular to talk with about my issues and feelings.  You could check with your work and see if they provide and support.  My pyschologist is through work.  There's no hurry or need to respond to Me.

 

Take care 🙂

Re: To hospital or not to hospital

@Doglover 

What are excipients 

Re: To hospital or not to hospital

Hi @utopia , excipients r all the other ingredients they put in the medication other than the active ingredient itself. Most drugs hav at least 5, often more.

Re: To hospital or not to hospital

Hi @Gazza75 , thank u for ur post and ur understanding

I certainly received a lot of feedback about emdr, and it was a little overwhelming but i really appreciate everyone sharing their thoughts and experiences. It was helpful in my decision. I decided not to go ahead with it given that my current level of anxiety and distress is so high, i didnt think it wld b a good idea to do it at this time. My psychologist was understanding and supportive of my decision.

 

Yes it has been very heartwarming to receive all the support i hav Gazza, i rly do appreciate it. I am trying to make it to when i am able to b admitted privately, but each day is torture. Had apptment with ot on tues and pdoc ystrday and both mentioned admission sooner into public hospital, but they are going to try n assist me to get thru the next few weeks until i can go private. Bcoz of all the problems in having with meds, they r talking about doing a medication washout, which i am absolutely petrified of given the state that i am in. I dont know how the heck they r going to do that, or how im going to get thru it more to the point.

 

Thanks for ur advice re post admission. I think u can continue going to groups, or i cld b referred back to the public system and keep seeing the ot and pdoc there. My psychologist is private. But yes i dont rly know how things work. I certainly cldnt afford to keep seeing private pdoc after discharge so thats something il hav to look into.

Thanks for the heads up Gazza. Sorry u werent given more support when u were discharged. Glad ur doing well now tho.

Take care and thanks again for ur support!

 

Re: To hospital or not to hospital

Hi @Doglover ,

The washout sounds scary and the timing pretty poor.  Seems better to try and do that in hospital or closer to when your going to be admited.  It's understandable you are fearful given everything that you are going through right now.  

 

I need to look at getting more support, my GP seems unhelpful and although I've tried another one it didn't work out.  It's hard to find the time and motivation lately.  I should of done it before going back to full time work.  I felt pressured into doing that sooner than I really wanted to.  

 

I'll come back with more of a response tomorrow, got caught up with work.

 

Take care

Re: To hospital or not to hospital

Hi @Gazza75 , sorry i didnt make myself very clear. They r planning to admit me to hospital when private cover kicks in and do wash out in hospital. Still.petrified about it. I just dont know how thr going to do it, and scared as to just how bad its going to b. They hav upped a cpl of my meds in the meantime in the hope that that will enable me to make it thru  to when private health kicks in, otherwise if that doesnt work it will hav to b public. They were quite prepared to do the admission paperwork then and there and put me in the public hospital that i go to for all my pdoc apptmenrs but i declined. So wre doing it this way instd. Still so scared of how bad its going to b and how im going to get thru it!

 

Im sorry u felt pressured to go back to work sooner than u wanted to, especially full time. How long were u off? Iv bn off for 9 months now and dont feel any closer to going back to work now than i did 9 mobths ago, and i find it rly rly upsetting. Especially as im scared about how much longer they will hold my job open for me. 

I hope u r abl to find a gp that u r happy with Gazza. My last one was a very hard woman. She left the clinic so i just transferred to another doctor at the same clinic.. Rly dont know what hes like bcoz i had 1 apptment with him then he went on long service leave for 3 months. I find i hav to limit my docs apptmts bcoz they dont bulk bill so i cant rly afford it. When i see him next im going to ask if he wld b willing to consider bulk billing me. Can only ask hey?!

Thanks for thinking of me Gazza. Take care and try not to work too hard! 

Re: To hospital or not to hospital

Hey @Doglover , no problems on the wash out, I might not have read it correctly.  I'm sorry about how worried you are.  Try and stay positive.  I don't say that lightly or without compassion, I know its a tough gig.  Has the increased meds made any difference yet?  I really hope you can make it through to the private stay, it seems like that's the only and best option for your right now.  Understand about public if need be.

 

I'm hoping you can get through it okay, you've got this far without much support and at least in hospital you should have a lot more assistance from people that have a greater understanding of your needs.  

 

I was off work for a few months completely, then I went back 2 days a week for about 9 months.  Full time since February or something.  I hope they keep your job open for you, I think as long as you keep them informed with how you are going it should be okay.  I really hope that's the case.

 

Let's hope your doctor can do the bulk billing.  I've been lucky with the doctors that I visit in regards to fee's.  I caught up with my phsychologist last week, but, didn't get as much out of it as I normally do.  I had to go over some old stuff that she had forgotten about or hadn't written down. 

 

Not much else going on for Me, getting my car fixed today, hopefully that doesn't cost to much.  I've been trying to stay busy at the gym.  Coming off some meds slowly due to serious health concerns.  The last year has taken its toll on Me, first mentally and then phsyically, now it feels like the combination is much worse.  Trying to keep it in perspective, but, its hard.

 

Wishing you a peaceful and resful day 🙂 Heart

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