Lived Experience Forum

[DJC]

Hi

I am stuck in a particularly nasty depression episode that I can’t shake. My family has also noticed my bad attitude. I want to find long term solution to my depression through natural means but I am unsure where to start.

[oceangirl]

Hi @DJC 

I have not meet you before I don't think. And I just wanted to say welcome and its nice to meet you. You could start with lifestyle changes and perhaps a checkup with a Doctor. Sometimes there can be an underlying physical cause for depression. You could have a blood test for that if you are comfortable doing this? I think its important to have some structure in your day and set yourself a goal. The goal needs to be acheiveable though. I think the key is action to move you forward. I hear you and I understand your frustration. Hope this helps a little.

[frog]

Hi @DJC 

Just wanted to let you know that I read your post and I'm sorry to hear that it's really hard at the moment. I'd echo what@oceangirl has said. My experience is that there's always a combination of things that helps. It can be one thing, though, that gets some momentum for me. I read that exercise is a 'gateway drug' in that in can lead to other positives. It's very hard to start, but any sort of movement helps me a lot. I walk and do yoga. A lot of people find that vigorous exercise is what they need, and there's good evidence for weights benefiting mental health, but it's an individual thing.

Take care.

[DJC]

Hi there. Thank you for taking the time to message me. I am new on the forums, a brief summary of my circumstances. I have suffered with depression for many years (bad history of things happened to me and was unable to develop any coping mechanisms). I have seen a therapist before but found that it didn't help much as I was able to just avoid having the difficult conversations and therefore never really solved anything. I am have signed up for the Course on Mindspot hoping to understand my depression a bit more. I am half way through the course right now and am struggling with dealing with all the emotions coming through. Baby steps...

[DJC]

Hi @frog

Thank you for your message. I definitely agree and have read alot that exercise is a big plus when it comes to dealing with depression. I must admit that I do not follow through with exercise. I always make big plans that I can never stick to. I also find it particularly hard to find any sort of motivation when I am alone. I just sort of close myself off both literally and figuratively. I will say though that I have started a consistent meditation practice and gratitude practice which seems to be helping in lifting my mood somewhat. I still find myself getting too lost in my head and just being very snappy and grumpy.

[frog]

Hi @DJC well done on your meditation and gratitude practice. I also meditate, but am struggling to establish a gratitude practice. It took me years of on-again-off-again attempts with meditation before I really made progress. There's a guy who writes a lot about establishing habits - Leo Babauta - his blog is Zen Habits, The free stuff is under 'Archives'.

I know what you mean re getting lost in your own head. I'm finding that particularly so atm with the covid-19 restrictions.

There's a thread that I check out sometimes. Sometimes it helps me to put into words what I want to do Daily goals and motivation.

[DJC]

Hi @frog

Thanks for the suggestion on habit building. I'm a big fan of Leo Babauta and have been following him for years. I find with the gratitude practice perhaps just a quick note on your phone before bedtime or first thing in the morning might help to make it more consistent. Or even just in the moment if you feel gratitude for something. Just add to a Note on your phone or snap a photo. I must admit that being consistent on the meditation has helped lighten my mood a bit. I even felt a bit encouraged to confide in my partner that I have been feeling very down, even thinking that the world may be better off without me. I did not get the response I was hoping for so maybe think it may be best to continue sharing my thoughts on this forum instead. 

I think that something that has been weighing me down greatly is not really having a strong sense of self. I am hoping to do some introspection on this matter and some pointers may be appreciated. I still envision myself as a much younger version of me...and clearly I am not that person anymore. 

Have a lovely day further and hope everyone is holding up during this time.

D

[frog]

Hey @DJC 

I'm not sure how it is for you, but not really having a strong sense of self for me was to do with putting myself last. I had been practicing that for about 30 years! As I made small decisions towards my own needs my confidence grew. It was/is a very incremental process. For years, although I knew the words, self care and self compassion didn't make sense to me. One of the things that prompted me to start down this path was allowing myself enough time to pause and think through decisions. Before that I was on autopilot and I was always last on my own list! Take care.