Forums Home

Carers Forum

Acceptance, connection, support. Share the journey.

Safe, anonymous discussion for people living with mental illness, moderated 24/7 by mental health professionals.

Read the community guidelines
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Something’s not right

Highlighted
Casual Contributor

Struggling at the moment

Hi

My wife was sexually abused by her grandfather, her dad was generally uncaring and she is estranged from her mother who has a serious mental illness. Since our child was born, four years ago, my wife has become more and more verbally abusive towards me. I rarely know when it's going to come. Seemingly unrelated discussions end up as attacks on me quite often. My wife refuses to awknowledge her behaviour and refuses to see a cousellor etc. She now won't allow any discussion about her attacks. Her general behaviour is becoming more erratic. She has read my online messages and says I betrayed her by giving a very watered down version of what's happening to my sister. I see a counsellor, and they have advised me that I'm in an abusive and manipulative relationship and that I should leave. I don't think I can leave because I need to be with and protect our child. I still love my wife, but all the really nasty and mean things she says are hurting me terribly. I'm a good husband and father. 

I recently found out I'm losing my job of three years after I was informally told my employment would continue indefinitely. 

So, feeling pretty low and really don't know what to do about my wife. I know I have to go on for my child, but not really seeing the light at the end of the tunnel right now.

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Struggling at the moment

Hi @spelled3,

This sounds like a very difficult situation - I am really glad you have come to the forums.

Our members have so many shared experiences and are always full of support. It can be so hard to help a loved one that doesn't want the help. I'm sorry you are feeling low at the moment.

You may like to look and post in this thread- How to encourage spouse to get help, we also hosted a very interesting Topic Tuesday around supporting the women in your life.

I hope this helps!

Lauz

Re: Struggling at the moment

Hi @spelled3
You have so much going on - maybe tackle one thing at a time - your job is really important so make sure you look after yourself enough and focus on your next career steps and secure another role - it's really hard to do anything else if you lose employment altogether ... you must stay strong for your own survival and for your child. Take a day at a time and make sure you take moments for yourself to recharge ... as you think through your options maybe you will find a way to connect to your wife and edge her towards seeking help of some kind - really thinking of you and sending you the best vibes in the world ! .. stay hopeful and keep reaching out x

Re: Struggling at the moment

Thanks Lauz.

Re: Struggling at the moment

Thanks Mandy1.

For urgent assistance, call: