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Starting the Conversation

Hi Everyone, 


I'm new here. Smiley Happy


I need some advice on how to tell my family about my partner. 


We have been together for almost a year and he suffers from Bipolar Disorder and BPD. He also struggles with drug (illegal) dependency. I have a feeling that my dad is aware of my partner's issues, however I have not discussed it with him. I recently had a breakdown due to not looking after myself whilst caring for my partner. I now feel like I should tell my dad, who also suffers from mental health and was drug dependant. I know that he would understand and it would be helpful but at the same time I dont want my dad to judge my partner in any way because of it. 


I just need some advice on how to start the conversation. 


Thanks in advance. 


Smiley Happy N


Re: Starting the Conversation

Welcome to the forum @NUGGET, disclosure can be difficult but it's important for your self-care to build a strong support network. Is there something that your partner and father bond over? Perhaps that may be a great icebreaker to lead into the discussion.  

Re: Starting the Conversation

@Ali11 Thats a great idea. Thanks Smiley Happy I definetly can think of a few things. 



Re: Starting the Conversation

You're welcome @NUGGET, hope you're enjoying your weekend Smiley Happy Let us know how you go with starting that conversation 

Re: Starting the Conversation

how are you going today @NUGGET 

Re: Starting the Conversation

Hope you had a great weekend @NUGGET, let us know how you are! Heart

Re: Starting the Conversation

@Ali11 @Shaz51 


Today is going well so far. Yesterday was a really tough day. Sleep deprived and hungry, he was difficult, I just had to keep telling myself that its not really him. Just before I left to go to work he asked me to stay with him. He wanted to hurt himself. I stayed, I called my work and told them. He was varied in moods (is this normal?), like one minute he was sad and telling me how much he wants to change his ways for the better, and then he was like angry with me. I'm just glad that its over. Does anyone see a counsellor or something? I think I need to see one. I just need someone to listen to me vent. Because of the drug dependency I was considering calling Family Drug Support, but I don't want to make him sound like a bad person. 


If you've read all of this. Thank you. My vent is over. 


I hope everyone is have a fab weekend! 

Re: Starting the Conversation

Glad today was good (when you posted) @NUGGET Smiley Happy Sorry to hear about yesterday, that does sound like a confusing day with the mood shifts. Helplines won't stigmatise him, and you only give as much information as you feel comfortable with, so definitely worth giving one of them a call and having a chat about what you're going through and what support options are available for you. Sending love, hope you have a fab weekend too Heart

Re: Starting the Conversation


Yesterday turned out to be an alright day. (still a few mood swings but it wasnt as crazy). Today is giving me hope for the future. He wants to go to therapy for himself and is supportive of me wanting to go to my own as well. In our conversation yesterday, I was able to express how his behaviors make me feel and he was quite understanding. He noticed that his tone and certain ways he expresses can seem aggressive and hurtful. 


Question: is having a sort of routine very helpful?? 

I know for me I quite like to have some sort of routine to stop myself from getting super lazy. I dont want him to feel like I am trying to be controlling. 


Smiley LOL 

Re: Starting the Conversation

having  some sort of routineis helpful @NUGGET  but I find it has to be flexible as well

I find with my husband I have to have things planned so he knows where he is but still flexible enough to cancell things at the last minute or to change the day


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