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Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Thanks @Shaz51   💜

Good night my lovely friend. 😴

 

Sherry

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Hi @Shaz51 

 

This is really rough on you and I hope I never put my daughter through something like this

 

I think I understand your Mum - I get it that she is independent and wants to do things her way - her choice etc - but she is getting frail at the end of all of this and other people tell she can't really manage all of this and it makes me wonder

 

It's a tough thought but I wonder if she is actually ready to leave - my father reached this stage - he was just short of his 91st birthday and I had bought him a card and a stamp that I still have all these years later - he was tired and didn't really understand his stroke I think - he mentally folded his hands and as he was a man of faith I understood.

 

He had lived a great life - he left me with so much love and so many good things to think about I feel he is in the next room and I know he is not but feel he is not far away.

 

Can you talk to your mother about this Shaz? - I know it's really hard - I can only look and think about my own experience 

 

Sending my love - as much as I canHeart

 

Your second Mum 

 

Dec

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Hugs @Owlunar , @Former-Member , @Former-Member , @Ali11 , @outlander Heart

@Owlunar, my second mum Heart

I think my mum has had it , she does not want more surgery , she is nearly 88 and she sais she has had a good life

I think she would just like to stay home and potter around

the other family members tell me to do this or do that which is hard , I think I will just have to be firm and say what my mum wants and they should repects her wishes xxx

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

I agree @Shaz51 

 

Your family members will have their own opinions and want to have their say and try and influence you to have this done or that - 

 

But you are right - I am positive your mother doesn't want any more operations and you can tell your relations - your mother has her own life and rights and her wishes need to be respected

 

My mother had a lot of bowel surgery and at the end of her life apparently bowel obstructions - I really didn't know much about it because this was my sister's domain and I wasn't welcome and kept out of it - 

 

It's a difficult time

 

Dec

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

@Owlunar, I am here if you have any questions bowel obructions  and bowel surgery and your mum , only if you want to xxx

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Thans @Shaz51 

 

Mum died of a stroke when she was 94 a few years ago - but it remains true I didn't know anything about her bowel problems during the latest years of her life

 

I can only imagine what that was like - and she had a miserable time after Dad died - but that wasn't the only problem

 

Dec

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

hugs my second mum @Owlunar Heart

my mum had a stroke 12 years ago xxxxxx

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

@Shaz51
Can i ask if your mum is still mentally well as in she doesnt have dementia?

It sounds like she knows what she wants but just wanted to know if she is in a state of confusion or if she is actually adamant about this.
its hard when pressures come from external sources too all with their own opinions.

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Can i ask if your mum is still mentally well as in she doesnt have dementia? -- atthe moment she is ok @outlander 

she is showing signs of dementia and her sister thinks so too

so will need to interact more in the futher xxx

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

at least she is still ok mentally right now @Shaz51
hopefully your family listens to you and to her wishes as well. i guess it gets a point where they just dont want to go through anymore surguries tests etc. really sucky though and hard situation to be in
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