Lived Experience Forum

[Sam_j]

Hello everyone

I'm in a bit of a pickle and really struggling with it. I had the conversation with my wife lastnight, I had to explain to her 'it feels like standing on a cliff edge, just waiting for something to push me over' I think that push is here, but probably for the first time I want to hold on.

So I have some health issues, I'm treated for anxiety and depression, and have a physical injury that limits my ability to work, although I think I manage it all fairly well. 

Because I can't work I receive a DSP, and have done so for about 12 years now, getting that DSP was one of the worst experiences of my life, just dealing with centrelink. 

Now here I am, I got married just over a year ago, and my own fault forgot to declare my partners income since, I provided them payslips when we updated relationship details, but that wasn't all I needed to do, I just figured that out yesterday. My own mistake, I know ignorance is no defence. I'll call them Monday morning..

I'm just not sure how I can get to Monday, I had a panic attack lastnight for the first time in years, I'm a grown man laying in bed shaking now while wife is at work. I don't know if I'm scared of the punishment or just losing the little independence I have left.

I guess I'm not looking for a solution or answer, I don't have anyone else to talk to about it though. Very very overwhelmed.

I appreciate if you read this far. 

[Appleblossom]

Welcome to the forum and married life. Good luck getting through to Monday. @Sam_j and I hope the powers that be handle your case ethically.  They can probably just raise an overpayment without goin all out and dragging you through courts, if it was not your intention to defraud.  Fingers crossed.

Apple

[Krishna]

Hey @Sam_j Take some nice calming breaths and bring yourself back to the present moment cause I imagine you're playing the "what's going to happen with Centrelink" on loop in your mind. Try not to analyse or predict the outcome as that will just increase your anxiety. I know. Just be in the here and now and try to relax, it will get sorted on Monday. Hope you have a chilled evening .

[Sam_j]

Thankyou, yes make it to Monday trying to breath. Wife is coming home for dinner, looking forward to that atm.

[saltandpepper]

@Sam_j Sorry you're struggling with the anxiety so much right now. Anxiety doesn't discriminate, experienced my first ever panic attack when I was about 28/29? Somewhere around there. Happens to the best of us.

With regards to centre link--not sure how helpful this is--but a long time ago my mother did this, but intentionally. Double dipped from centrelink while my father wasn't well and she started work. After a couple of years they found out somehow and all that happened was she and my father had to pay a fine which was the money centrelink had overpayed to her. Not a drama really, and she was intentionally claiming payments she wasn't entitled to. They also worked out a payment plan to pay it off. Pretty laid back if you ask me.

It's hard not to stress about something like this, I'm awaiting news on a shipment that's meant to be delivered next week but apparently is going to be seized by customs. Big old $600 down the drain. But, I won't know for sure until it happens. I was very stressed about it, but then came to the realisation that there is nothing I can do about it. I have no control over the situation, stressing isn't going to fix it or make it better, it's just going to make everything else that I can control in my life that much harder to do. So, I'm putting it to the side and just going to deal with it when it happens.

I know it's not easy, but you can't control what is going to happen or the outcome. Whatever happens will happen. Try to redirect your focus to things you can control, even if it's just things like cleaning, mowing, things that you can make a difference with. It may help. I hope it does. Good luck with it all for Monday, hope it goes as well as it can

[Sam_j]

@saltandpepper thanks for your words. I agree with living in the now. I appreciate that. 

[HenryX]

@Sam_j 

Hi Sam_j ,

I agree wholeheartedly with @saltandpepper , Sam.

We can gently project ourselves forward. Make the intention to do what needs to be done - the Monday information to Centrelink - and release that intention. It may also help to physically write down, or make a note on the computer, of the intention. That gives the reassurance that we have done as much as we can do, for the present, with the clear intention of attending to and completing the steps required to resolve the matter, as soon as we possibly can.

It is then wise to simply allow ourselves to stay in the present, knowing that we have completed any and all steps available to us, to resolve the issue that has concerned us.

I do hope that you will have a peaceful day today, with the knowledge that you have made a plan to address the concern that has arisen for you.

With Best Wishes

HenryX

[Former-Member]

Hello @Sam_j  i think if you go fully prepared on Monday with proff of your wife's income earned for that period of time and anything else you may think they might require and explain to them that you genuinely forgot or didn't realise you hadn't declared it. I think it will go in your favour, it just shows to them that you are trying to correct a wrong and are genuine. Take care and be kind to yourself