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Something’s not right

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Mother Seeking Advice

Hello dear @Former-Member

Ohhh my heart goes out to you so much. I wish I could make everything right for you. I have been there - not knowing where my daughter is and the ohh the mental torture, the grief (as it is a loss) and the worry. It's not good. But the one positive to hold onto is that "your son will call his Dad when he needs anything". So if anything gets too bad - he will ring and contact. Any form of contact use to ease my mind a bit.

Your sister sounds concerned and cares in her own way. Is she supportive? Please seek supportive as this type of grief and mental anguish is not easy to carry alone. Be kind to yourself and reassure yourself that you have given all you can, loved all you can and somehow good will come of that.

The only thing that saved me from tipping over was "the faith that somehow everything will work out", that all will eventually be good; yes the odds are against us but that is what will shift you, move mountains to make you stronger. Also having more faith in yourself and who you are which enables others judgements to bounce off you now. You are starting to feel it this which is a good thing. Hold onto it my friend and only look at the what is happening in the day - never too far ahead as it can overwhelm. I am here for you always. Keep posting. Sending lots of love 💕Xx

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Mother Seeking Advice

hello @Former-Member @misunderstood

i am still here i think!

it has been a rollercoaster.

all help on holidays laugh - just cracks me up when i think about it.

well anyone who has mental illness or looks after a person/s with mental illness please remember to take your holidays during the festive season break which of course varies in length depending on how much you earn and how many letters you have after your name. ouch

spoke to dad yesterday who told me son has phoned him again for more money.  wanted money to buy a playstation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and his dad told him to ask me to go halves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now you know why the marriage ended.

apparently son tried to phone me on christmas eve i checked mobile after and had several missed calls - no caller ID he uses (paranoia) i used to think he was just protecting his privacy and thought that was sensible.

so when his dad told me that i just responded straight away, well just as well that he didnt get through because he would only have abused me again and further alienated me. unbelievable... playstation....

so only my thoughts are changing, whirring around in my head.

i am just allowing them to be until they start with mortality stuff then i take prn.

every day just existing.

my thinking is different though, my mind and thoughts are erratic and chaotic yet i think i am acknowledging them instead of burying them. yes am still isolating self inside house. not walking still which i love and miss.

have ventured out into the garden a couple of times havent done that for months. love gardening too.

so in a weird way i think i am just managing little steps, day by day, getting through, looking after myself better as everyone else is on holiday!!

how are you both? how selfish of me ramble on and on without mentioning my thoughts of you both.

i have written stuff all over this site.i dont remember where i have posted it, what i have written and find in my searches i come across a post i wrote. oh did i write that??

depression dealing its hand, battling with me to take over but i will not let it win this time.

thank you again for listening and being there

Re: Mother Seeking Advice

thank you for sharing your story, it's so lonely not being able to share everything with close friends because no matter how much they try, they don't understand the reality of having a loved one with serious MI. Your words have reduced my loneliness somewhat
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