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Something’s not right

Powderfinger
Senior Contributor

Intense anxiety and panic about communication.

I have a serious problem. I have never experienced this intense response. 

 

 

I have no patience when it comes to lack of communication. I can't breathe, my anxiety levels go up and I get into a panic. 

 

I'm experiencing thus with my best friend who is also my ex. In the relationship I would be badly stonewalled. Often for many days bit knowing when it was going to end. Add living together in the mix and it was pretty much a lethal concoction. 

 

I'm finding it hard to forgive her and in ways it still happens. I absolutely cannot cope at all and I completely shut down. The anger I feel inside if me is bordering imin rage. 

 

Yesterday was the last straw. I told her to go home, it was pointless being around. I cannot stand being in the presence of deafening silence. Stonewalling us a form of abuse. I don't have any patience, understanding or compassion. 

 

I have told her a million times. I wish I could have patience. I cannot wait though. It just keeps taking me back to horrible time when I was in a relationship with her. She actually is a good person and I feel bad that I cannot overlook thus one thing. I'm deeply angry with her. 

 

Even more so because she knows how bad a state I am in and it's just reminding me of the past. 

I feel I have no options left and I've just removed myself mostly. 

 

So very angry that I can no longer feel sad. 

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Intense anxiety and panic about communication.

Hi @Powderfinger, I'm Rhye. I'm a peer support worker who is new in the forums so it's great to meet you Smiley Happy

It sounds like you're having a particularly rough time at the moment communicating with your ex, and that must be really hard given your past together. Living with them also sounds quite difficult – from what you're describing I imagine it feels like there is no room to escape these feelings that emerge as a result of their behaviour. Does that sound right?

How have things been going over the past few days?

Rhye ☘️

Re: Intense anxiety and panic about communication.

Hello @Rhye 

 

Thanks for reaching out. I wish I could respond addressing the content of your post. I am unable. I feel I have brain trauma from a recent trauma so I'm just trying to rest my brain where I can. I'm going for an assessment next Tuesday and other things to see what damage has been done, if it is something permanent or short term and how to address it. I'm feeling very low and my moods are a constant battle. Very hard to regulate. 

 

Powderfinger

Re: Intense anxiety and panic about communication.

Hey there @Powderfinger, no problem at all. I see that you had an appointment yesterday, so I hope that went well and you were able to get the help you need. I hope this week is bringing some relief from the battle.

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