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Something’s not right

Former-Member
Not applicable

In a very dark space.

I feel sad.

 

I remember on the first day of University, in March last year, I introduced myself to this girl on my table. I wasn't interested in her, I was just being friendly, because I knew we had to do a group assignment together. 

 

She was just giving me one word answers, and looking down at her phone the whole time.

 

This was just a few days after my breakup, so I remembered the advice I got. I thought "she's probably just shy or rude, it doesn't say anything about me." 

 

Well, the next week, I missed class, but as I was walking past, I saw this girl eagerly chatting away with this cute guy from another group.They were about to say goodbye, but instead, they went upstairs together.

 

So no, she wasn't like that with everyone, there was something about me in particular. 

 

Soon after that, I gave up talking to girls. The love of my life is going to have to find me(!)

 

I saw a crush of mine just then, sitting down eating lunch. I said hello to her, but it seemed obvious that she didn't want to be disturbed. I have no concrete reason for assuming that, but let's be honest... when I walked past about twenty minutes later, she was smiling talking on the phone with someone. I get phone calls from Chinese robots sometimes...

 

It's obviously nothing to do with her, but it just sums up where my head is at the moment.

 

What's the point of falling in love anyway? Being single for two years, and allowing my heart to be broken in the first place, has taught me everything I need to know about myself.

 

Don't tell me I'm worthy.

2 REPLIES 2

Re: In a very dark space.

hi @Former-Member 

thats really tricky and im sorry that you experienced that. i dont beleive you have to be in a relationship to be happy. if your ok with being single then thats  fine too. 

you  could maybe try a dating website if you were interested in that. 

people can be really rude and often its not us but i often wonder the same thing as everyone around me or people i try to meet often only talk to me when they are after something or am brushed off as well. 

Re: In a very dark space.

Hi @Former-Member, 

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a tough time. I'm hearing the difficulties you've had finding love and the sense of disappointment at not having had much luck. It can be really disheartening when you put yourself out there and don't get the response you'd hoped for. As @outlander said so wonderfully, it's completely up to you whether or not dating is something you want to pursue. It's hard! I'd encourage you to check in with yourself and see what feels right though, whether that means giving it another go, taking a break for a while before diving back in, or even not diving back in at all. In the mean time, we'll be here to listen as you explore what will work best for you. 

 

TideisTurning 😊

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