Lived Experience Forum

[Serenity1]

@RasberryCupcake OMG!!! You poor thing!! I completely 💯 get where you are coming from with your sister being a NARCISSIT -- my mother was & her husband (stepfather)- an evil evil narcissit who were abusive to me my entire life & abused my now adult son & brainwashed him completely against me so we have no relationship now- they controlled my life without me even realising I was being abused - because you don't realise it - until you research into it & once you get it - you get it - they badmouthed me to the entire family & everyone in my life also- I literally don't know how I survived the abuse they put me through- when I would tell them I was feeling suicidal as a direct result of how they were treating me- ( normal reaction)- they would tell me to "admit myself into a hospital "- or just walk out of the house mid conversation & leave me- or just not respond to my texts - I really should have died - I am surprised my heart has not just stopped-with the amount of psychological abuse & stress they put me through-I now have CPTSD, agoraphobia- can't leave my house, severe anxiety & depression-& I have had to go NO CONTACT with my family who are all abusive & toxic & Narcissitic- my adult son I believe is now a narcissit also- as a direct result of being exposed to my mother & her husband over his lifetime- before I knew who they truly were- ( I just thought they were weird)--- I am SO SORRY your TWIN SISTER is a NARCISSIT!!! OMG!!! That seriously has to be THE WORST person in the world to have in your life as a NARCISSIT!! You must feel so betrayed & devastated!! I can completely understand how you are feeling & what you have gone through- the only way I believe to recover-( or should I say not continue to be abused)- because I honestly don't think I will EVER recover from what I've been put through- the only way is to go NO CONTACT with a severe NARCISSIT--they DO NOT CHANGE 💖💖💖

[outlander]

hi @RasberryCupcake
how are you going today? it sounds really tough for you and im glad to hear your connecting here.

[Ali11]

Sending love @RasberryCupcake 

[RasberryCupcake]

hi @Serenity1 

It's difficult dealing with narcisists, particularly when everything they do is always behind your back - mostly, you don't even know what's going on until strange things happen to you. Things like people's attitudes and avoidance from people. It's psychologically damaging for the victims and destroys people's social, work and intimate lives. As a result of what my sister has done, I've lost all the above, she's destroyed and taken away everything that meant anything to me. I really hate her. And, when you try to tell people what's really going on or when you act out when youve had enough, they call you 'nuts', 'crazy' or 'mental' and you should be hospitalised!! 

I'm sorry too, that you went through with your mother and step dad - I feel greatly for you. I really do. 😞  but at least you didn't have the CAT team falsifying your medical records .. I did (thats another level of distress I just didn't need)

And, yes I have been estranged from her for a couple of years now since she broke up my relationship. It's something I realised that I needed to do in order to 'heal' or 'recover'. The journey has been very lonely as much as it has been depressing. They don't change, they lack empathy and they will continue to head - nick you just for their satisfaction. They don't tire from their games. I wonder whether there is anything victims can do to stop this from happening? Like an intervention order of some description. Emotional pain in law is one that is hard to mediate upon. 

@Serenity1 , are you any closer to setting things right with your son? and, why has it been so long since you've realised his attitude changed towards you? I guess thats a silly question, as everybody's circumstances are different.

[RasberryCupcake]

Hey @outlander ,

I'm doing ok i guess - i had another cry today, just sick to death of crying all the time. My eyes are sore and puffy. But yea, I'm glad I've joined this forum, it's been a life-saver, literally. 🙂

How are you?

[RasberryCupcake]

Thank you for your support and kind words @Fracture 🙂  Enjoy your evening.

[RasberryCupcake]

@Ali11 air hugs xx

[Serenity1]

Hi @RasberryCupcake yes I agree- it is completely devestating & soul destroying to be targeted by a narcissit in your family-& people will NEVER understand it unless they have been through it themselves- because they seem to go against everything that it means to be human- they are pure evil & thrive off it & ppl who have not been exposed to this cannot ever fathom this- heck I only fully grasped everything in 2015 when my mother died yet I was still being actively emotionally abused by the members of my family I have mentioned-& that is when I realised- the way they are treating me is so wrong that is NOT how you treat someone who's mother is dying of cancer in the lead up to her death, when she died & immediately afterwards & ongoing for up to a year- I was being actively targeted emotionally & physically & psychologically abused -by the stepfather & my son-
I'm glad to hear you have no contact with your sister, that way you can protect yourself- although I do understand that is not easy also- I have been suffering terrible guilt & depression from going no contact with my dad & son- but I am abused every single time I have any contact with them- then I spiral into depression for weeks- it is lose / lose situation-& of course you are viewed as the "bad" person by cutting contact:face_with_rolling_eyes:
I don't know what can be done? It is hard enough to even explain this type of abuse & you end up looking like you are the "crazy " one like you have said bcos ppl just cannot believe ppl this pure evil exist.
With my son - I had him when I was 19 years old & basically everybody on his fathers side of the family were brainwashing him against me from an early age - after we split up-& my mum & her husband were newly married- so they were very covertly brainwashing him in the early years- I had absolutely no idea or I would never have allowed him to be around them- I relied heavily on them being a single mother & I was being covertly manipulated & groomed & a used by them also- I was suffering with agoraphobia back then so they "helped" a lot - but were really brainwashing him against me every single time he went to visit them on weekends- that I wasn't aware of at the time-
As he turned into a teenager they ramped up their mission in turning him against me- but I still could not see it- I just thought it was teenage attitude- until I had my daughter when he was a teenager- then they began to undermine my parental discipline of him directly infront of both his & my face- he was becoming more & more abusive to me verbally & physically-during my pregnancy & after my daughter was born ( even kicking me in the stomach when I was pregnant ) - he would destroy the house & scare my baby daughter- so I would call my mum & step dad for help controlling him- because I had no one else to call & the two of them would literally take my teenage sons side in front of both our faces & tell him I was in the wrong- then they would wish him away from the scene & instead of giving him punishment- he got rewards at my mothers house hornet cooked meals, spend all night on the computer, presents bought for him basically whatever he wanted- as a direct result of me calling them for help because he was out of control- this kept happening over & over again & I was suffering so badly want post natal anxiety & agoraphobia- they eventually TOLD me he would be living with them- which is where they finally turned him against me for good- I remember when my step father physically assaulted me, as my dying mother & two year old daughter watched on- then he called the police to have me arrested - my son who did not see the assault told the police "it was my mums fault "- & I knew at that moment I had lost him forever. -- I was a single mother from TWO AEEKS PREGNANT- after my daughters father left me- after initially telling me he wanted to Marry me & have a baby-so I was really alone during all this time- the way my son treated me in the lead up to my mums death & immediately afterwards has completely shattered my heart into a million pieces- & since then he has been nothing but abusive & manipulative - so if he is not a Narcissitic- he definitely has some sort of personality disorder which I don't believe he will be able to change & I have a lot of guilt that I could not see it happening- but when it is covert you cannot see it happening & it was happening to me also but I did not even realise it & when it was overt it was too late & I was not strong enough to help him- I was feeling suicidal & had to survive for my daughter-as she had absolutely no one else besides me to be there for her.
What is the story with the CAT team??? I think I missed that bit somewhere along the way-
Stay strong 💖💖💖

[RasberryCupcake]

@Serenity1 

Wow, I got teary reading your story...I can relate with the manipulations, brainwashing, lies and agressive personalities around you. Stay strong for you and your daughter, sweetie - you're doing so well. 🙂

It IS hard for another person to truly understand where you are coming from and what you're saying is even the TRUTH unless they have experienced it for themselfves. Usulaly, everything you say is indeed the absolute truth but at times it seems so far-fetch that people do name call you as 'mental' or 'crazy' - and that is so not the case. 

Re-read my story and you'll get it - the CAT team did many other terrible things to me but I'm not sure I can say it here on the forum for fear I might get kicked off. I need this forum to stay strong.

All my love - air hugs xx

[Serenity1]

Thankyou so much @RasberryCupcake 💖 I don't think they kick you off here for saying the wrong thing- they send you an email & ask you to change your wording if they find a problem with it- but I could be wrong- hope you are having a good day 😊🌺xxx