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Something’s not right

Re: I'm really struggling today

@Appleblossom , yea I do feel as if i'm on edge .. at times, I really don't know how to hadle things, at times I really feel as if I am going 'crazy'. But I know that I'm not. I'm perfectly sane. I'm just a person with severe depression and anxiety. I've been most anxious lately. I've been having night terrors and wake up in a sweat, gasping for air. I keep thinking that the CAT people are in my home.

To answer your question, I'm still living in mum & dad's home, yes. I have no money to move out. I have recently applied for austudy but I'm afraid that that won't be enough for me to survive when I do move out. I'm really scared about that, too. I desperately need to leave here and get my own space, for my mental health. My resume is stuffed, I can't get a job either. I cry all the time thinking what a big loser I am.

Are the Cat team more of their doing or mine? I have absolutely no idea why they were even 'treating' me in the first place?!! There were no crissis nor any violence towards anyone.. All I know was that they wanted to offer their services, which I refused on many occassions. But they wouldn't leave me alone. They came 'round everyday till I met them. I did nothing wrong. They have falsified my health record, saying that I was violent and caused damage to property. I asked, who's property? 

I'm their victim. 

 

Re: I'm really struggling today

@Appleblossom , I don't know how I can move forward from this, how I will ever recover. They've psychologically damaged me. 

Re: I'm really struggling today

@RasberryCupcake 

I  dont like loser talk.  We are all just people. We win some and lose some and most of all puddle along cos its not a competition.  

 

Do you have a gp and or someone to see re anxiety and depression.

 

Family dynamics get out of whack for all sorts of reasons. Its hard to live together when there is broken trust, but there is also safety in family home. Not sure when is the best to live alone or stay with family, but getting some reasonable goals might help.  DO you have study or job interests?

 

Someone got the CAT team involved. I am sorry it has been damaging for you. Is it possible you cant remember something?  Could they answer your question.

 

Sorry I am not much help.  I do know Reaching out is important.

Smiley Happy

 

Re: I'm really struggling today

@Appleblossom , my GP & her colleaque totally humiliated me. I won't go back there. I don't have any trust for medical/ health professionals at the moment at all. I'm basically my own practitioner and therapist. I have to be. 

And, no, I didn't have a lapse in memory nor blacked out or anything of the sort to render me 'not remembering' what has occured. Like you said, someone called the CAT yea? Just put it this way, if my whole family, my ex, friends and people we know believe the gaslighting going on behind my back, why wouldn't the CAT people believe these stories told about me? 

Thanks appleblossom, but I will be staying away from the medical system for a while. I'm absolutely spooked. And, yes .. I will be going back next year to uni to finish off my criminology degree. I've got 2 years. 🙂 I'm excited about that. 

Re: I'm really struggling today

Good to hear you have that goal.  @RasberryCupcake 

Its a great one.

Smiley Happy

In many ways in my early life I worked it out myself. I left home at 16 and study and work were my main anchors.  I took longer to get there as I had to do both, but never regretted it.

 

There are levels of reality testing and everybody's situation is unique.

 

Sad to say I also had major betrayals by my sister and mother, though in my case, I am slowly facing up to the fact that my mother orchestrated it.  I lived in Pollyanna world for a long time.

Re: I'm really struggling today

@Appleblossom , I guess then you can somewhat relate to my story .. I'm sorry that you went through your hardship and turmoil with your family also. You did what you needed to do and came out shining at the end. Good for you - I can only hope that one day, it'll be me shining at the end.

I loved Pollyanna .. I should download a series to read for inspiration. 

Thanks so much for listening and helping me through this dark day. 🙂 Much appreciated, I know you've got your own troubles to deal with. Again thanks. You've calmed my nerves and made me feel so much better. Big hugs your way.

Re: I'm really struggling today

hi @RasberryCupcake  how are you going today?

Re: I'm really struggling today

Sorry to hear more about your experience @RasberryCupcake. We can see how you are hesitant to accept any medical assistance. Are you able to start fresh and look for a new doctor? It's important for your health and wellbeing to have a support network (so you aren't alone in your recovery) and it may take several visits to different doctors to find the one that is right for you. 

Re: I'm really struggling today

Hi @Ali11 ,

Thanks for your message... I do feel alone in my 'recovery' from such horrible experiences life bestowed upon me. However, I don't think I can deal with any further nonsense from those so-called professionals at the moment. I'd rather connect here where people are much more supportive and non judgemental. I can't deal with anymore people who aren't well... genuine or nice. 

Enjoy your evening Ali11

Re: I'm really struggling today

Hang in there Rasberry cupcake it will workout when you put your head on the pillow think of something really nice it is okay to cry then sleep and its a brand new day get out and say hello to the world!

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