Lived Experience Forum

[Lemonjuice]

I've got chores, my car is undrivable, my niece and nephew are home, so I am trying to stay safe, but my mind keeps wandering  to suicide and self-harm. It's all just too much.  My body is fat and I am in pain, I am old, the house is a mess, and no one is helping, the economy is getting worse so selling the house is going to be hard, the bills are growing, there's no money to pay them and my nephew is abusive.  I'm so done, I don't want to live anymore but I am doing it cause it's impolite to off one's-self.  I am trying to think about my niece, she is starting her business, so maybe things will get better, 🙏🙏🙏

[Pollyotter]

@Lemonjuice

I'm sorry it's not going great at the moment. Maybe helping your niece will keep your mind off of the things that are tugging at your heart so bad. I know doing research for my friends business kept my thoughts and actions at bay .

[Lemonjuice]

@Pollyotter  yeah, I am trying to keep from thinking about everything too much. Just watching old movies, listening to my niece about her plans and helping her.  The feelings come and go, so I just keep busy or distracted during those times.  Thanks for replying.

[Pollyotter]

@Lemonjuice
I'm sorry I am not more helpful. But there are people here who can help you with what is going on. I have been communicating with a awsome person who if it was not for her I would be in a worst spot then what I am at the moment. I hold hope that someone wise will awnser you

[Lemonjuice]

@Pollyotter  but you are being helpful. Just having someone saying something makes me feel less alone and invisible or a ghost.  Sometimes I need solutions, but sometimes I feel like I am drowning and everything feels unreal, so just saying what's happening is like breathing again.  Even when people just press the support button, it's something real.  I know I'm repetitively depressed and su often when I come here, so I do feel grateful I haven't been chucked out yet.  Lol, believe it or not, in real life, I'm high functioning and the life of the party personality.  So, thank you for caring and reading and responding.💓

[Zoe7]

@Lemonjuice @Pollyotter Hugs to you both - going to just read along but reach out if you need - listening behind the support button Lemonjuice 

[Lemonjuice]

@Zoe7 💓

[Pollyotter]

@Lemonjuice

I get you 100%. I myself struggle with PTSD and am not half the woman I used to be . I do feel like the psycos in the movie with a twitching smile . Take one day at a time ( good advice I should follow too but eeks)

[Pollyotter]

@Lemonjuice

Hey there .poping in. How are you doing

[Lemonjuice]

@Pollyotter the same.  I am going to start another thread for discussion.