Lived Experience Forum

[Catobun]

Hi All,

I'm new here but not new to anxiety. I have had GAD, SAD, and Panic Disorder my entire life. Generally I handle it well, I work full time in a school, I have hobbies and I am active, expect I do have periods when it gets on top of me. I am just recovering from a dark episode that saw me in bed, unable to move, eat or do much but sleep for days. This was all bought on by signing a lease for my first unit on my own and then regretting it.

I am 32 and have lived at home most of my life, except for periods here and there, including a four month stint that ended last week. I can live alone, I actually prefer it, but the idea of signing a lease, getting my own furniture and committing made me spiral. I have since cancelled the lease. Now I'm anxious that I'm the oldest person alive still living with their parents!!!

I am slowly recovering from what the Dr call a "mental health crisis" after he put me on some pretty heavy meds. I'm going back to work tomorrow after three days off - albeit against Dr's orders - because being away is making my anxiety worse as I'm scared they will fire me as I take so much time off for anxiety related things.

To top things off, when I told my bestfriend, she turned it back on me saying that I needed to make a decision if I wanted anxiety to rule my life. I do get that, but when you are in crisis mode and are considered a danger to yourself, I don't know that this comes into it, unfortunately.

I guess what I'm asking is, does anyone/has anyone dealt with the same issue (moving out/signing a lease) making their anxiety spiral into crisis? How do you remedy it?
Thank you all in advance.

[BryanaCamp]

hi @Catobun , welcome

You sound amazing! Working full time at a school is very high functioning.

I've been unemployed for the last 7 years due to my complex mental health problems. I'm only now just starting to apply for work since I'm finally on good meds with a really great psychiatrist. It may be very hard for me to find work because I have a 7 year absence from the workplace on my cv.

Good on you for going back to work, let us know how you are going with that.

Don't be too hard on yourself, lots of people live with their parents well into their late 20's and 30's because real estate prices have rocketed into unaffordable highs for the younger generation.

I'm a lot older than you & now live by myself (and the cat). But I remember moving out of home was quite traumatic. My family was very unsupportive and none of my friends could relate so it was incredibly lonely and stressful. I had to live with strangers (housemates) and was really frightened and awkward about that.

It's a shame your friend was unkind to you, especially when you are raw from crisis. But I hope you will find some support here and hope you have a compassionate worker you can talk to (psychologist or psychiatrist) ?

I can't offer a solution to the great stress of having your first rental but I can tell you you are not alone. I suffer from debilitating anxiety and lots of other people here to do. I'm sure things will slowly improve for you as you recover from crisis. Be gentle with yourself, do you have any self-care things you can do?

[greenpea]

@Catobun  Hi Catbun and welcome to the forums. You are not the oldest person to be still living at home and you know what to bad if you were. It is your business and that of your parents and if it works for all of you that is great 🙂 My son is 25 (he has multiple disorders) and he still lives at home and doesn't want to leave and that is fine by me I like having him living with us. I think it is great that you obviously have such a close connection with your family.

When I was recovering from mania due to my mental illness I had to sign a lease and it was super stressful. I feel much better about it now but I am not here alone I have my kidults with me so I felt supported. It is a huge step so take your time there is no rush and if you end up staying at home like I said previously that is okay too. Take good care of yourself. greenpea

[MDT]

hey @Catobun

Today I had a similar-ish experience. I was set to go to the UK next week and find a place to live and a job to do.

HOwever the anxiety of it all spiralled me into a panic. Expecting such tasks of myself was a lot.

What I didn't do, that you seem to be able to do whcih is good to see, is manage. You have made baby steps in the right direction. This is good.

Going back to your work is a good idea. Focus just on that for now. But if possible, you could raise this with your boss - that you are keen to go back, but you must be aware of your limits. Don't force yourself into anything you can't do.

I am impressed that you are still wanting all this. I like to hear this. You are 32 and that's a good age to be doing what you are doing. I am 25 and have been at home all my life. You are inspiring me with your experiences.

You have lived out of home before which is good. You prefer it? You can do it? Awesome. So you cancelled the lease? Okay then. No matter.

Maybe get things back on track and look at a lease a bit later this year?

People around me are slowly starting to move out and work full time etc. This is something I want, but going to another country to do BOTH of these was too much.

I like your story. I think you are doing okay.

Forget what your friend said. Don't even worry about them.

Take it one step at a time. You are on a good path.

You sound smart and intelligent enough to figure these things out in enough time. Don't pressure yourself.

[jamesle2015]

Gday Catobun it's good that you have a full time job...are the people there supportive or are they aware of your anxiety?
May I ask does your work involve students or is it another job in the school?
Keep hanging in there