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Something’s not right

Medusa13
Contributor

Day 2 of the 9th new med for my partner

Is it just me or do the episodes seem to drag out like some form of mental torture?
Day 2 of my partner on a tricyclic and I don't really know if I can make it through the next week with her let alone the wait and see part of if this medication may help or worsen things. It's Christmas and I can't believe I'm here again, still going through this. Sometimes I wish it were me with the depression, just to be able to check out when I feel like it. Treat my partner like rubbish cause I feel like rubbish. Run when I feel like it's all too much and chase when I think I may have pushed too far. You'd think my loyalty and commitment would be enough to at least have her consistently communicate, even when she's not good. But the fact is, I get treated this way and the answers I get are, I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't know if I want this. Not what I really need, which is; I don't feel anything toward you right now, I'm not well, hang in there, this will pass.
Just so disillusioned.
It's been 5 years we've known each other and two years together. Marijuana use has spun the depression out of control and it's the drug use that kicks in that renders her so completely numb & so completely detached from me and everything.
I used to think I was a committed person/partner. Im starting to question that because this is pure pain.

19 REPLIES 19

Re: Day 2 of the 9th new med for my partner

You need to get some support for yourself to handle this situation @Medusa13.  I can see it’s driving you spare.  You owe it to yourself to look after you first ...... if you are going to stay, you need to get a shield up against the bad days, and support people can help you to do that.

Hugs !

Re: Day 2 of the 9th new med for my partner

http://www.carersaustralia.com.au

Here’s a contact for you @Medusa13 ..... thinking of you today ..... 

💐💕

Re: Day 2 of the 9th new med for my partner

Day 8 of meds. Day 3 of cannabis withdrawal..
Used once last night. I can see a little teeny tiny ray of light...
My partner made an attempt to come to an appointment with me. She smiled and even laughed Xmas day. This morning her mood was elevated more than normal. Elevated and level/rational...
Keep those fingers crossed for me people, as I am too xx

Re: Day 2 of the 9th new med for my partner

Fingers, arms and legs crossed! @Medusa13

Re: Day 2 of the 9th new med for my partner

She asked how I slept even.. it feels weird but it's the little things that are giving me hope.

Re: Day 2 of the 9th new med for my partner

Absolutely @Medusa13 ..... ❣️

Re: Day 2 of the 9th new med for my partner

Hello @Medusa13,  how is everything going my friend Heart

Re: Day 2 of the 9th new med for my partner

Not good

Re: Day 2 of the 9th new med for my partner

Smoked two days, back to pothead ways, lost my s$&t, she said she didn't want it to control us anymore, so once a week only, planning to drop back to once a fortnight. Day 5 sober yesterday (this is where the moodiness decreases and the emptiness sets in). Came home from work, said she wanted to smoke. I had taken it away as I said I didn't want to be part of anything criminal and she hadn't taken responsibility for it. She was mad, more so passive aggressive. We argued and she ended up ignoring me, so I left angry and ignored, had a car accident.
I always wondered what it was going to take.
I knew it'd be something serious, I'm ok, but emotionally wrecked.
Car is written off. FML
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