Lived Experience Forum

[Lemonjuice]

Nothing shows you who really loves you and has your back, like being sick and in need. I have given everything to my family, sacrificed everything taking care of them. This Monday I had surgery, apart from my niece coming to pick me up from hospital and doing the shopping once, no one has lifted a finger to help with the house. My nephew is asleep, there are no clean towels, there are dirty dishes in the dishwasher, the bathroom is filthy, etc., my mother made me get out of bed, to take the car to fix a stuck window. No one seems to realise that four days ago my insides were being ripped out.

[greenpea]

@Lemonjuice Ohh Lemonjuice I have been wondering how you were going. I am sorry that your family are not more considerate to your needs. It is not uncommon to take those dearest to us to us for granted. I remember when I was acutely psychotic and in hospital my daughter who I adore refused to visit me because she hated hospitals. My mother was livid with her ... I was too sick to care but sometimes people have their own demons to wrestle with which distracts them from the bigger picture.

I am sure none of them mean to be so callous and uncaring. greenpea

[Former-Member]

Hi @Lemonjuice
How are things going now? I'm sorry i missed seeing this the other day! I feel so disappointed for you that the family in your house havent been helpful or supportive of you during this time. Its so hard to feel and be ignored in such a way, its very hurtful.
How are you recovering from the surgery itself now? I hope that physically things are progressing as well as they can...
Take care

[Former-Member]

Hi @Lemonjuice

How is your recovery? It’s a shame that your family is not more supportive, pretty sad actually. Take care.

[Lemonjuice]

@greenpea @Former-Member @Former-Member Sorry for not updating earlier, my brain has been weird this week. Today, despite it being six days after surgery, my niece had to take over driving us to my sister's house because I lost concentration and nearly ran into the car infront of us. Dreams feel like reality...memories, and I keep forgetting things. It's the fifth operation I have had in my life, so I know the symptoms...it takes almost a couple of weeks for me to get back to my previous levels of alertness. As for my body, it's healing well, cramps, which I guess is to be expected. As a byproduct, I think the progesterone has actually cancelled some inflammation in the whole body...I am breathing normally through my nose which I couldn't do for several years due to swelling.

As for my family, had a nice chat with a Cambodian mechanic a couple of days ago, who came to Australia as a refugee some years ago. After hearing his story and the horrors he witnessed, it kind of put my family issues in perspective. He saw people die, families pulled apart and killed, I got to witness a spoiled, narcissistic teenager act like an unthinking jerk. Perspective.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Lemonjuice its good to hear that you are healing ok and that you have less inflammation. Would still be challenging. I think i would struggle with something like surgery and the recovery, would take so much extra energy, im not surprised that there are difficulties with conentration but must have been scary today in the car for minute. You sound as though you know yourself so well.
Perspective can come in handy at times but at the same time you still deserve love and care from those close to you when you need it too... but teenagers are notorious for not realising as well..

[Lemonjuice]

@Former-Member Thanks. Yeah, I am kind of waiting for my nephew to have that aha! moment when he realizes that he isn't a child anymore, but a man who needs to take up responsibilities for his family...that his sense of pride is to be found in loving and contributing. At the moment it's about how much he lifts at the gym, going out with mates and computer games.