Lived Experience Forum

[Gemima]

After getting my son through depression :/anxiety 3 long years after being diagnosed with epilepsy and schizophrenia his first day of work he spun a trailer on the road due to tyre running into oncoming traffic now he has a phobia of driving, then to make matters worse a guy reversed into the right side of his car on a seperate incident and is refusing to pay for the damages, insurance company hopeless. He is safe and not injured but now the journey to having him feel safe on the road and to overcome his fear .

[Former-Member]

Hi @Gemima not sure if we've crossed paths. I like the word Grr, says it all when we best say little lol. No, I can understand your frustration with helping your son overcome anxiety. My son has only just got his license, and first car at 27yo. He kept it pretty quiet about his fears but I knew. Now he's taken to it like a duck to water. What I'm trying to say is - there's no rush. I'm wondering what other mums have to say about this issue of putting our kids behind the wheel, @Faith-and-hope, @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member 

Yikes! Think I was more nervous than my son. Lol

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Gemima .... pleased to meet you.

My kids weren't in a hurry to learn to drive, but one of them (S2) is dragging his feet more than the older two did, clearly owing to anxiety.  While he didn't seem to have any real problem growing up, we have an anxiety-producing circumstance at home in the form of my husband's undiagnosed mi .... and this is how it has impacted S2.

My response was to coax him into taking driving lessons, telling him that he can learn to drive, then decide whether he wants to go for his licence, or drive, but at least he ought to give learning to drive a go so he u der stood what it was he was fearful about .... baby steps ....

He has spent nearly two years in driving lessons, and is still no closer to getting his licence, but I think like @Former-Member's son, he will mature into it when he is ready.  Taking lessons has shown him the boundaries ... given him insight into the workings and reactions of a car to different traffic conditions, how manageable the steering wheel, brakes, etc are ....  a testing of the waters ... and he is not yet ready to leave the wading pool.

He has to walk to catch the train or bus.

I tell my kids that if something feels too big to hurdle, break it down into baby steps, and just piece it together in teeny tiny increments if you have to, and be kind to yourself in the process.

Its so frustrating as a parent to do everything you can to try to support your child, even an adult child, and yet you cannot carry them over the line ... they have to take weight-bearing steps of their own to achieve the outcomes, and for that, they have to feel personal ownership over what they do.

Breathe .... walking with you here ....

Hi @Former-Member .... 😊💕

[Former-Member]

Have a great week @GemimaGemima @Faith-and-Hope 

"live for the good days, laugh off the bad" xox