Lived Experience Forum

[Ellie]

Yes Loopy, I think you have Christmas down to a tee. I tend to beat myself up for being such a grinch. I try to tell myself it's just my stupid mind that turns major events into hell on earth, but it doesn't really work. I see everybody else having fun, enjoying the day, the holidays in-between and I think I'm such a horrible person because I can't rise to that level. Then I start to believe I'm ruining it for everybody else, so why do they keep insisting that I turn up at all? Are they only including me because they feel they have to??

However, I'm beginning to learn that this is just my mind misfireing. Like an engine with faulty electrics, it breaks down under pressure. I wonder why anybody would want me around at all, but it's probably just my lack of self worth, my very limited sense of self, yet so far I haven't been able to learn how not to keep thinking like that. Hopefully in time I will.

Ellie.

[Loopy]

Ellie, you naughty person, don't denegrate yourself there are plenty of others who will do it for you. You are not to blame because you have a MI anymore than someone with a broken bone... I know you have heard it all before. Just try to be nice to yourself. Stand in front of a mirror and say, "It is not my fault" and say it daily a couple of times. Then, "I am a good person " and the hardest one is "I like myself". Maybe the last one after a while when you start to believe the first two. Stuff what others rhink, as long as they only think it.

Everything you have said most of us are in the same boat, I think, so you are not different. You are in the right place(Sane) let us be the ones to tell you what you are and are not. No one will tell you anything but the facts and will be right with you on that bloody long journey. There are plenty of shoulders and tissues in this place for all. Start tomorrow. I hate christmas.

loopy

[Ellie]

Gosh Loopy. I don't know what to say to that! "Not my fault" is probably easy as I've been saying that and blaming everyone else since year dot

"I'm a good person" is going to be a lot harder. Old habits are very difficult to break

"I like mysef?" Well, the day I say that to myself and believe it.......well...... I think I'll really need to work on that one LOL!

[Loopy]

Ellie, It ain't easy, but, think about it then just try. One step at a time. This time of year is a real downer, whilst every other person is complaining about what to buy, what to wear, what food to get, will someone like my presy. Little do they know it is two weeks in every year for them, for us it is 24/7. What to do........... about any and everything, and they think life is a bitch, but with friends, on Sane, I would not change places , even for sanity I would loathe to be like the majority slowly getting to where we are right now. I will start for you "Ellie, I like you." Actually you have already started, "I'm a good person" you words keep saying it you are almost there. Good person.

loopy

[Rick]

Ditto


R

[Loopy]

Sandy, at last, you picked an idea from the sky and are using it brilliant. Gold star

loopy

[Loopy]

Sandy, I would never be rude to a lady

loopy

[Alessandra1992]

It sounds as though we are building some tools and strategies to manage our Christmas , wherever we happen to be 🙂 @Loopy I never thought you would be rude to a lady, I kinda think you would never be rude to anyone!
Sometimes I can be very sarcastic in my head when I am stressed, as I aim to not buy into someone else's stupid words or actions..
So my Christmas day plan has morphed into spending the day with friends, you know, the friends who are your family, only more often better than family because I chose them!!

[Rick]

Right on Sibling!

[Loopy]

Sandy, I know I am about to get the boom lowered on me but dare I say, "Such words of wisdom from a mere female." Let em rip.

loopy